Some people think that children should go to play way school before they go to primary school, while others the children should go to play way cho Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is a debatable issue whether toddlers should start primary

education

Use synonyms

directly or they should first attend kindergarten

beide

Correct your spelling

before

should

fist

Correct your spelling

first

show examples

step in the field of

education

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some individuals think that ten before taking their first

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

kids stay with their families, I believe it is more advantageous better decision play way schools prior to primary

education

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. On the one hand, there are various reasons why people support the idea of allowing

children

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to stay at home during the early stage of life.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they think kids are too young and fragile to be exposed to

outer

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the outer

show examples

world as they are not completely ready for a naive change and require

lot

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a lot

show examples

of care and attention

due to

Linking Words

unawareness of their surroundings and on

such

Linking Words

occasion

Fix the agreement mistake

occasions

show examples

it becomes imperative if parents take care of their

children

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, it is a common saying that parents are the best teachers at

early

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an early

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age and staying together all the time is helpful for both parents and

offspring's

Change the noun form

offspring

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to establish a strong

bonding

Replace the word

bond

show examples

between them.

Also

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this

Linking Words

healthy bonding is pivotal as

this

Linking Words

impression stays for

entire

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the entire

show examples

lifetime of a child.

Finally

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, facing competency at

such

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an early stage sometimes has more negative aspects as they may get

pressurized

Verb problem

pressured

show examples

which constrains the growth and development of a child's future

prospect

Fix the agreement mistake

prospects

show examples

On the other hand

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, I believe that making young ones attend kindergartens before primary school has enormous benefits. First and foremost,

play way

Correct your spelling

playway

schools act as foundational

step

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steps

show examples

for

constructive

Correct article usage

the constructive

show examples

growth of young

children

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and even research has proved that they have high learning capability during formative years so procrastination is not recommended in

education

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and they should start learning as soon as possible.

Moreover

Linking Words

, by attending preschool classes, they could learn how to cooperate with peers in a group which may lead to

growth

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the growth

show examples

of social personality.

For instance

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, by playing a group game they would learn to help teammates and how to encourage them to do their best which can be totally adventitious for them to flourish in earlier stages.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, if they join play way they will get familiarized and adaptive to

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

atmosphere at a very tender age by virtue of which they become acquainted with some basic subjects like alphabets and numbers which are essential requirements for primary school so

children

Use synonyms

would go to nursery class with sufficient confidence. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some individuals advocate the benefits if kids stay with their families before starting

education

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

helps to create an inseparable bonding, I assert that going to

kindergartens

Fix the agreement mistake

kindergarten

show examples

would be a pragmatic approach for them to become mentally strong youngsters

MemmmSun Feb 02 2025

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear argument with relevant points for both sides. However, try to provide a more definitive opinion in your conclusion, reinforcing your stance more strongly.

coherence and cohesion

Be careful with some phrasing and grammatical structures that could be clearer. For instance, instead of 'tough outer world', consider saying 'the outside world' or 'the external environment'.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the variety of sentence structures and vocabulary used. This can enhance the overall quality of your writing and make it more engaging.

task achievement

You have addressed both views effectively and presented your opinion clearly. This shows a good understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples to support your arguments, which adds depth to your analysis.

coherence and cohesion

Your points regarding social development and bonding with parents are well articulated, illustrating the potential benefits of both perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

436 words

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Some people think that children should go to play way school before they go to primary school, while others the children should go to play way cho Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Some people believe that children should learn to paint or draw as a subject in their school curriculum. Others think that it is a waste of time and that there are more important subjects that should be taught. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination, but others think there are more important factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some argue that music mainly served as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extend do you agree or disagree?