IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that sharing musical art enhances the relationships between various cultures and ages.I agree with the statement since
musiv servie
Correct your spelling
music serves
 as a universal language that connects
people
Use synonyms
 from different
nationality
Fix the agreement mistake
nationalities
show examples
 and
bridge
Fix the agreement mistake
bridges
show examples
between
Correct article usage
the between
show examples
 generations gap. At the onset , art considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 way for
people
Use synonyms
 to express their emotions and ideas .Since the
globalizeation
Correct your spelling
globalization
globalisation
 movement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
audio art become
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 way to communicate whether with lyrics or even only
rythem
Correct your spelling
rhyme
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
music
Use synonyms
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 for cross-cultural exchange by individuals sharing
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 cultures , experiences and ,
thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , many popular songs in the world today
heard
Add a missing verb
are heard
show examples
 and
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
some
languager
Correct your spelling
language
languages
 or another
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 role in
intergenerational
Correct article usage
the intergenerational
show examples
 bonding of different time
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 by the folk traditional songs and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 recalling the classic hits which many young ages enjoy
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
today.
Moreover
Linking Words
, musical nostalgia with
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 social media platform
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a significant role in mixing the different
generations
Change noun form
generations'
generation's
show examples
taste
Correct subject-verb agreement
tastes
show examples
togther
Correct your spelling
together
.
For example
Linking Words
 ,my mother used to open
a classic
Correct the article-noun agreement
a classic arabic song
classic arabic songs
show examples
arabic
Change the capitalization
Arabic
show examples
 songs for us
thus
Linking Words
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
our
Change preposition
in our
show examples
 interest in
old
Add an article
the old
an old
show examples
 version of the
music
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to
Correct article usage
the evokes
show examples
evokes
Wrong verb form
evoke
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
sense of
belongition
Correct your spelling
belonging
. In conclusion,
music
Use synonyms
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a necessity of life .
In addition
Linking Words
 to the role of connecting
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and
nationality
Fix the agreement mistake
nationalities
show examples
togther
Correct your spelling
together
regardless the linguistic barriers ,
music
Use synonyms
 has
an impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
an impact
impacts
show examples
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 bonding between
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 time
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
.

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Grammar
Consider improving grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity. Proofreading for spelling mistakes (e.g., "musiv," "globalizeation," "languager," "belongition") will strengthen your essay.
Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your thesis. Try to have clearer topic sentences to guide the reader.
Support
In your examples, ensure you provide context and explain how they demonstrate your point more thoroughly. This adds depth to your argument.
Understanding
You demonstrate a strong understanding of music's role in cross-cultural and intergenerational connections, which is essential for this topic.
Engagement
The inclusion of personal anecdotes, like your mother's influence on your music taste, adds a relatable element to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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