IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent decades, many
citisens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether compulsory full-time
education
Use synonyms
 should be until they turn 18. personally, I am vehemently opposed to
this
Linking Words
 view. the reason will be covered in
this
Linking Words
 essay using examples to demonstrate
point
Add an article
a point
the point
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 and prove
argument
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an argument
the argument
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. After finishing
secundary
Correct your spelling
secondary
 school most pupils are 16 years old,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 are given the option to
further
Linking Words
 pursue full-time
education
Use synonyms
, Part-time work or do training.
this
Linking Words
 flexibility is to accommodate the different
circunstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
 and
predilection
Fix the agreement mistake
predilections
show examples
 of
youghters
Correct your spelling
daughters
youngsters
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not all of them have an aptitude towards
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
.
for instance
Linking Words
,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 survey in
secundary
Correct your spelling
secondary
 school in Peru shows that only 40% of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 were going to keep studying.
An other
Correct your spelling
Another
show examples
importand
Correct your spelling
important
 factor to consider is the student's family economy
,
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apply
show examples
 because if they are forced to stay in
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 learning centres the cost will be expensive, which most families
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 be able to
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
effort
 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was shown in the survey published by "
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 Economist" that revealed that only 15% of families are able to
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
superior
education
Use synonyms
 of their
offsping
Correct your spelling
offspring
while
Linking Words
 the rest have to go into debt. As
such
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 it can
be conclude
Change the verb form
be concluded
show examples
 that implementing two more years of compulsory studies can be detrimental not only because it
wont
Verb problem
will
show examples
 aloud
adolescent
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adolescents
show examples
 to follow their vocation but can
also
Linking Words
 affect their
families
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family's
families'
show examples
 finances.

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language
Revise for spelling and grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'citisens' (citizens), 'secundary' (secondary) and 'affort' (afford).
coherence
Enhance the logical flow by clearly linking your points. Use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument, as current examples are somewhat general.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position against compulsory education until 18, establishing a strong argumentative stance.
coherence
The introduction effectively outlines the essay's intent and structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
What to do next:
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