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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, many
adults
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 have started to spend their free time playing
computer
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games
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.
This
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 trend is becoming more common, and there are several reasons for it.
While
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 some may argue that
this
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 is a negative development, others may see it as a positive
way
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 to relax and socialize. One reason
adults
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 enjoy playing
computer
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games
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 is that they provide an easy escape from the stresses of daily life. Work and personal responsibilities can be overwhelming, and gaming offers a
way
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 to unwind. Many
games
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 are immersive, helping players forget about their worries and focus on entertainment.
Additionally
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, online multiplayer
games
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 allow
adults
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 to connect with friends or meet new people, offering a sense of social interaction that may be lacking in real life. Another reason for
this
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 trend is the growing popularity of video game culture. Modern
games
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 are not just for children; they are designed to appeal to
adults
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 with complex storylines, challenging tasks, and high-quality graphics. As technology has advanced,
games
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 have become more engaging and stimulating, making them attractive to a wider audience.
However
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, some may argue that
this
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 development is negative. Spending too much time on
computer
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games
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 can lead to a lack of physical activity, poor health, and even addiction. It can
also
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 harm relationships if people prefer gaming over spending time with family or friends. In conclusion,
while
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 playing
computer
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games
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 can be a fun and enjoyable
way
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 to relax, it should be done in moderation. If balanced well, it can be a positive
way
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 for
adults
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 to unwind, but it becomes problematic when it interferes with daily responsibilities and social life.

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task achievement
Ensure all arguments are thoroughly developed with more specific examples to strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the main topic and presents both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
The conclusion summarizes the key points well and reiterates the importance of moderation in gaming.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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