IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It has recently been announced that a new high schoo.l may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.

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A new high
school
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 has been proposed in my community, and opinions are divided on whether it should be built. In my view, I strongly support
this
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 plan because it will reduce
students
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' travel time, lower financial burdens for parents, and provide more specialized education opportunities. First of all, having an additional
school
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 in the area will ease
students
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' daily travel burden. Many
students
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 currently have to commute long distances, which can make them exhausted and less focused in class. A nearby
school
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 would not only save them time but
also
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 help reduce transportation costs for parents.
For example
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, in my
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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,
students
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 often wake up very early to catch the bus, leading to fatigue and lower academic performance. A new
school
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 would eliminate
this
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 issue and improve their
overall
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 well-being.
Additionally
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, it would allow
students
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 to spend more time on extracurricular activities or personal development
instead
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 of long commutes.
Secondly
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, a new high
school
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 would provide
students
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 with more academic choices, particularly in specialized subjects. Some schools offer programs focused on science, technology, or arts, and having an additional
school
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 increases the chance for
students
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 to find a curriculum that matches their interests and career goals.
For instance
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,
students
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 interested in engineering might benefit from a
school
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 that offers advanced STEM courses, preparing them for university education. More schools
also
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 mean smaller class sizes, allowing teachers to give
students
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 more individual attention. In conclusion, I strongly believe that building a new high
school
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 will be beneficial for the community. It will help
students
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 by reducing travel stress, lowering costs for parents, and providing better educational options.
Therefore
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, the government should support
this
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 initiative by providing funding and ensuring proper management.

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task achievement
To improve your score further, you might include even more specific examples to illustrate your points clearly. For instance, citing specific areas in your community that would benefit from the high school would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas more clearly in your paragraphs, possibly through transitional phrases, to enhance the flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion sections that contribute to the overall coherence of your argument.
task achievement
You provided strong reasons for supporting the construction of the school, demonstrating a good understanding of the social implications of the issue.
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