IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

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Nowadays ready-made
foods
Use synonyms
 become more popular among the population. Some
people
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 claim that it can replace homemade cuisines and the usual methods of preparation of
this
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 food.
This
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 essay agrees with the statement.
This
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 essay will first discuss, that easy-to-cook meals are
time
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-saver and will show that they require less money to spend than traditional
foods
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.
To begin
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 with, convenience meals don't waste a lot of
time
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 in preparation.
This
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 means that
such
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 meals provide more
time
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 to the
people
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 for themselves, for
people
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's tasks and their responsibilities rather than taking
time
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 to cook.
For example
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, cooking the noodles in the box, which is usually called "Ramen", requires about 5 or 6 minutes,
while
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 boiling spaghetti takes about 20 minutes, which is 4 times more than fast-cooked noodles.
Thus
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,
this
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 left
time
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 can be spent by
people
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 on some work or exercises.
Moreover
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, the easy-to-cook cuisines can become more economically efficient variants for consumers.
In other words
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, for
such
Linking Words
foods
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 are being prepared all humans, including low-income and high-income
people
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, can save some money for more essential purchases, like medicines or hygienic items.
For instance
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, for cooking simple fried beef
people
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 must buy spices, sauces, and some vegetables or fruits
in addition
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 to the beef.
Whereas
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 humans can buy frozen beef, which was prepared before, and just fry it. So it will more money-saving variant, than traditional
foods
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. In conclusion, homemade
foods
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 are consumed rather than convenience
foods
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. The reason is that ready-made
foods
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 save a lot of
time
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 for
people
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's responsibilities and
additionally
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 economy their income for future spending.

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What works well

2
Positive Highlight

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is essential for engaging the reader.

Positive Highlight

The use of specific examples, such as Ramen and frozen beef, supports your arguments well.

Improvement Suggestions

2
Task Achievement

To enhance your task achievement, consider expanding on your main points. You might add more examples or additional explanations to illustrate your arguments more strongly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve coherence by using clearer linking phrases between your arguments. This will help guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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