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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1984, 1993 amd 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1984, 1993 amd 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate the type of new car trend that was brought by Australians in 1984, 1994 and 2014.
In addition
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, there are two major types of cars that mostly consume, Sedan and SUV. In conclusion,
although
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 the trend decreased, Sedans became the top of mind in
Australian’s
Correct your spelling
Australia’s
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 preferences.
On the other hand
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, the number of SUV users increased massively, particularly from 1984 to 1994.
To begin
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 with, Sedans reached an all-time high
Change preposition
in sale
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sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 in 1984 by dominating 74% of the new car sales at that time.
However
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, the market
share
Use synonyms
 decreased to 62% and 51% in 1994 and 2004, respectively.
In contrast
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, the market
share
Use synonyms
 of SUVs increased along the time from 1984 until 2013.
In
Change the preposition
At
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 the beginning of 1984, SUVs might be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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the newcomer in the industry, resulting in a small
share
Use synonyms
 during that period of below 10%. Meanwhile, the demand for SUVs increased significantly 10 years later, reflected by the modest market
share
Use synonyms
 of 17% in 1994 and remained the same until 2014
due to
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 massive new products launched that provided various new types of cars.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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