IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Governments should lower arts budgets to allocate more money to education. Do you agree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Even though most developed countries in the world are financially stable and developed with infrastructures but
lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
show examples
 with
overall
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 percentage. So,
central
Add an article
the central
show examples
 government should allocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
funds more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 rather than
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
 and culture. I totally agree with the statement and will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
further
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, some countries are spending
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 money on budgets for
arts
Use synonyms
. There is no doubt that
arts
Use synonyms
 play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role in
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 preservation of culture and tradition. But at the same time,
education
Use synonyms
 is the most important thing for
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 economic development. When people are more educated and knowledgeable they can spend the money and energy for
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 growth.
For example
Linking Words
, Mostly educated people pay taxes and it paves the way for better economic growth. Nowadays, rural and countryside people are lacking basic
education
Use synonyms
. So,
government
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the government
show examples
 should provide scholarships and concessions to motivate them
in studies
Change preposition
to study
show examples
. For that, allocating essential funding
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is mandatory.
Arts
Use synonyms
 and culture are rapidly progressing in many countries so, minimal funds are enough.
For example
Linking Words
, India allocated 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
 and 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 improvement can definitely improve the
country
Use synonyms
's
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 stability. In conclusion, every
country
Use synonyms
 should focus on
education
Use synonyms
 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 implementation rather them spending funds on entertainment and
arts
Use synonyms
. Since
education
Use synonyms
 is the prime detector of
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 wealth.

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task achievement
Try to refine your introduction to clearly state your main arguments and avoid introducing unrelated ideas; ensure it relates directly to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Consider better connections between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they are directly related to your argument and further explain how they support your point.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your agreement with the statement and presented your viewpoint that education is a priority.
task achievement
You provided relevant points regarding the importance of education in economic development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funds
  • economic growth
  • societal well-being
  • disparities in access
  • quality education
  • equal opportunities
  • erode cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • creative industries
  • contribute significantly to the economy
  • loss of jobs
  • stifle innovation
  • well-rounded society
  • intellectual development
  • cultural development
What to do next:
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