There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay or working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason? Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days many people think of leaving or staying in the same

company

Use synonyms

for several reasons. The question is, do the companies inspire and motivate their

employees

Use synonyms

to stay or leave

Change the punctuation

show examples

Are

Verb problem

show examples

they have problems with other

employees

Use synonyms

which force them to leave? In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to draw my own conclusion.

To begin

Linking Words

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

motivation is an important aspect that the

company

Use synonyms

should treat their team. The main reason given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that with all the different kinds of rewards that the

employees

Use synonyms

receive, they can do better at

work

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, the leaders need to treat their staff

great

Change the word

greatly

show examples

to earn the excellent effort back. That

why

Add a missing verb

is why

show examples

all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

companies need to

work

Use synonyms

hard.

Moreover

Linking Words

. the respect between the staff and the CEO of the

company

Use synonyms

will let them

work

Use synonyms

hard and not retire from the

company

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, money is not a key feature in staying or leaving.

In other words

Linking Words

, even if the money is higher. the

employees

Use synonyms

can not handle the other team because of how they treat them.

Secondly

Linking Words

, everything comes with respect, if all the staff respect each other they will not even think of retiring.

Also

Linking Words

, with the bonuses that the workers have or

earn

Add a comma

earn,

show examples

thats

Correct your spelling

that

will motivate them to

work

Use synonyms

even harder than before. In conclusion, without motivation from the

company

Use synonyms

, the team will get so much tired of the hard

work

Use synonyms

and they will have a bad effect.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that the CEO of companies need to think of how to reward their workers.

jood6042

Feb 4, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points further with more detailed explanations or examples to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and clear to improve overall clarity of your points.

Task Achievement

You have a clear position on the topic and express your opinion throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.
Some individuals argue that social media platforms, including Facebook and Twitter, negatively affect teenagers' ability to form relationships with others. Meanwhile, others contend that such online usage can aid them in connecting with others efficiently. Although these online communal spaces may seem effective in creating new connections with others, I lean more towards the former opinion as it is less viable to maintain solid bonds with others exclusively via technology.
7
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Advertisements play a significant role in every commercial field. This extended area included numerous ideas and opportunities to encourage people. However, in some people's opinion, advertising is very similar, and no one is willing to be affected by advertising anymore. Against that argument, some people say that it is as beneficial as seductive to buy stuff. Advertising is captivating us. First of all, advertising has been beneficial for ages. People use it to market their products. Even though their manufacturing quality is poor, they can seduce people with their advertisements and maintain their factories by being publicised. There are many ways to create advertising: the most popular one is via the internet because no one is paying attention to television or newspapers anymore. Therefore, we can access all the product information because manufacturers emit fancy information to persuade people. Also, the advertising sector was increased by commercial fields due to employment be...
7.5
band
At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?
The media has a significant impact on the way people live their lives. This essay will discuss how the media shapes how people think about world events, and I believe that this is a negative development because it endangers democracy.
7
band
More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The increasing preference for private motorbikes or cars over public transport is a multifaceted trend driven by factors such as convenience, comfort, and safety. To reverse this trend, governments must adopt comprehensive strategies that address these concerns and make public transport a more attractive option for the general population.
6.5
band
in many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to latest fashion. why is this happening? is this a positive or a negative development?
In several countries worldwide, people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to the latest fashion. I opine that nowadays many modern professions need certain looks in order to gain trust and respect. It is a negative development, in my view, this trend could form a depression in the population.

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay or working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason? Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

in many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to latest fashion. why is this happening? is this a positive or a negative development?