Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days
advertisement
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is very common and the most prominent is through social media applications
such
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as Instagram Facebook and Snapchat.
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However
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However,
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some believe it's not impactful
there
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they
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are in favour of
advertisement
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. In my opinion, promoting new
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product
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products
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is essential
where as
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whereas
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for existing
products
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word of mouth plays
the
Correct article usage
a
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major role in their promotion. Let's discuss both views in detail.
Firstly
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marketing of new
product
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is very crucial For spreading awareness among the customers.
For instance
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, most of the new
brands
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hire celebrities for the promotion of their
products
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.
This
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not only
make
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makes
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their
product
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popular but at the same time
make
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makes
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customer
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customers
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in form the about the characteristics of the newly launched
product
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.
Consequently
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, the
sale
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sales
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of newly launched
products
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go high after the
advertisement
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.
On the other hand
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, the effect of
advertisement
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isn't that drastic for already existing
brands
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.
For
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example
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example,
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many companies who sell luxury
products
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don't even spend money on
the
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apply
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marketing because
such
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companies make higher quality
products
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which are expensive but they provide maximum satisfaction to the customer.
As a result
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, existing customers do the marketing of
such
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luxury
brands
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on social media and these
brands
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save
advertisement
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cost
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costs
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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advertisement
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is essential for making new
products
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popular by creating awareness about the new
products
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.
However
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, in
case
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the case
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of already existing
brands
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, user rating is the most effective and companies can focus on making their
products
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better rather than spending money on the promotion.

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task achievement
Rephrase and refine your introduction to clearly outline both views and your opinion. Ensure that your thesis statement accurately reflects your discussion points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a clearer structure in your paragraphs, starting with a topic sentence that directly relates to the point you are discussing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims, particularly around the effectiveness of advertisements for new products versus established ones.
coherence and cohesion
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your overall point of view is clear and you have attempted to provide relevant examples for your main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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