IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the minimum age requirement for young drivers and decreasing the maximum age requirement for older drivers is the most effective approach to minimize road accidents. Do you agree or disagree?

The issue of road safety is a pressing concern in many countries around the world, as
traffic
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accidents
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 can have devastating consequences. It is considered that the best way to reduce
traffic
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accidents
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 is to raise the
age
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limit
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 for younger
drivers
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 and to lower the
age
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limit
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 for elderly ones.
This
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 essay will discuss why I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint.
To begin
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 with, raising the
age
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limit
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 for younger
drivers
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 can lead to
reduction
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a reduction
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 in
traffic
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accidents
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. To elaborate, Younger
drivers
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 are often less experienced and more prone to risky driving behaviours,
such
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 as speeding and distracted driving. Increasing the minimum
age
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limit
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 requirement for driving can lead to more mature and responsible
drivers
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 on the road, reducing the number of
accidents
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 caused by inexperienced
drivers
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.
Furthermore
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, lowering the
age
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limit
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 for elderly
drivers
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 believe that it can lead to increased mobility for older adults. In greater detail, Many older people rely on driving for independence and daily activities, and lowering the
age
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limit
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 for driving can allow them to continue to drive safely for longer. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that higher authorities should make it a regulation to increase the
age
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limit
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 for young
drivers
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 and reduce the
age
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limit
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 for elderly
drivers
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 as
this
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 strict rule can decrease the number of road
accidents
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.
This
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 not only
make
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makes
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 the young individuals more mature and responsible when it comes to
follow
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following
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 the
traffic
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 rules
,
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apply
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 but
also
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the mobility of elderly people.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your points, especially in terms of how raising the driving age or lowering it for elderly drivers can lead to a decrease in accidents.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use transitional phrases to improve flow between your ideas, which will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea you will discuss, so that readers can easily follow your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint and outlines what the essay will discuss, which is a good way to engage the reader.
coherence and cohesion
You have articulated a clear argument in favor of your position, and the essay presents a consistent line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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