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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years.

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The line graph below indicates the data on the
number
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 of migrants who move from the countryside to the cities in
Iran
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,
Indonesia
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, and
Russia
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 in the period from 2000 to 2025.
Overall
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, in
Russia
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 and
Iran
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, the
number
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 of
people
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 moving to urban areas is the highest and they continue increasing in the future.
Whereas
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, the emigrant moved to the cities in
Indonesia
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 is the smallest and
this
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number
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 will remain steadily in 2025. As can be seen from the chart, in 2000, all three countries had similar rates of
people
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 who changed their lives. These numbers are around 10 million migrants.
However
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, in 2005,
while
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Iran
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 and
Indonesia
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 rose slightly,
Russia
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 climbed to 30 million
people
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. The scale in
Iran
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 and
Russia
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 grew significantly to 2015, respectively 50 and 70
millions
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million
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of
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apply
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people
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 who want to
relocated
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relocate
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 their homes. In 2020, the
number
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 of emigrants in
Iran
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 and
Russia
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 increased to 80 million together and the
number
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 in
Indonesia
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 had
minimal
Correct article usage
a minimal
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 rise to 30. In
Russia
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 and
Iran
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, the quantities of migrants are predicted that it will grow moderately in the future.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the scale of
Indonesia
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 will flatten out from 2020 to 2025.

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Task Achievement
Provide more detailed comparisons between the countries to enhance the analysis of the data presented. This will strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs better, which will improve the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the main features of the graph and sets the context for the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
General trends of migration from rural to urban areas are well identified.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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