Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Undoubtedly,

music

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plays a crucial role in modern society. Some people are convinced that

music

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is entirely beneficial to individuals and society,

while

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others consider it harmful to some extent. As for my perspective, I am strongly in

favor

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of the latter, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. A myriad of factors might lead to why

music

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seems positive to the world. First of all,

music

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serves as a good channel for artists to deliver their personal emotions, which typically resonate with certain groups of listeners.

For instance

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, when Kobe Byrant, my

favorite

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basketball player in the NBA, passed away years ago

due to

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an unexpected air crash, I was cured by listening to a sorrowful song called ‘See You Again’ by Charlie Puth.

As a result

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, sometimes songs can give the audience comfort.

In addition

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, recording

historic

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events is

also

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a vital function

for

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music

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. To be more specific, we have better learn from previous experiences to avoid similar mistakes, like songs related to World War II reminding people of the consequences of greed and hate.

On the other hand

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music

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is accompanied by various drawbacks in my opinion.

To begin

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with, a minority of songs contain improper content, including pornography or violent lyrics.

This

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phenomenon might be harmful to youngsters, as they tend to learn everything they are exposed to.

Furthermore

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music

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can be distractive, making it challenging for people to stay focused on their studies or work.

For instance

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currently

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currently,

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there is a hit called ‘APT’ by Bruno Mars and Rose, and it somehow keeps coming to my mind when I study in the library, decreasing my learning efficiency significantly. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, I believe that

music

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has shortcomings that might be detrimental to us, including involving bad content and threatening one’s concentration.

a9572111067Wed Feb 05 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by exploring the positive aspects of music in more detail before discussing the negative influences. This will enhance the discussion of both perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your introduction is strong, ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes all points discussed to reinforce your opinion rather than simply restating your view on music's shortcomings.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and provides examples from personal experience, which adds depth to the arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is logical, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through the main points.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a coutry. Discuss both views

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Robots and artificial intelligence one being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?