IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion. H

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In the modernization
era
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era,
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 there are opposite views about
advertisements
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's purpose. A large of people think that consumers usually spend money
for
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on
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unneceseary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 items when they watch
advertisements
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,
in contrast
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, others believe that there are wide
varieties
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variety of
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beneficial
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of beneficial
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 information in each
advert
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 about just-released
products
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. Two aforementioned views will be discussed th in the following paragraphs before presenting my personal perspective in the conclusion. There are many reasons why
customers
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 feel that they will have
many
Correct word choice
apply
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information about new
products
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 thanks to
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advert
Fix the agreement mistake
adverts
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.
Everyday
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Every day
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, there
are
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is
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enormous
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an enormous
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amount
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amounts
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 of
good
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goods
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 produced
which
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that
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 buyers can not know about all of them and some new items will be ignored. One more problem is that people usually don’t comprehend how to operate
product
Correct article usage
a product
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 which has been just launched.
Thus
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,
advertisements
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is
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are
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 a bridge to connect users with new
products
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.
For example
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, in Apple
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advert
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adverts
show examples
, they always give their new technological
equipments’s
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equipments
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 features into
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advert
Add an article
an advert
the advert
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.
Furthermore
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, unless
have
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has
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 a range of serious
consequence
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consequences
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to
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for
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 both companies and consumers. One of those is new
products
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 are difficult to reach
customers
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as well
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as
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and
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customers
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 cannot find
out
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apply
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all
products
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 to meet their needs.
However
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, I am of the opinion that advertisement is a factor promoting their to buy inessential goods. Currently, citizens is too easy to see
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advert
Add an article
an advert
the advert
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, it appears
in
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apply
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everywhere
such
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 as on
street
Correct article usage
the street
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, on
ones’s
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one’s
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 social network or even in email. One of the goals of
these
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this advert
these adverts
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advert
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 is to increase revenue for production. Companies have plenty of ways to make individuals purchase their
products
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, employing influencers or well-known artists,
sale
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selling
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 off,
television
Correct word choice
and television
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 commercials.
Nevertheless
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, they even use deceptive ways like magnifying the use of
products
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.
This
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facilitate
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facilitates
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 public payout
useless
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of useless
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 things because of their stunning image.
Therefore
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,
this
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 supports
publisher
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the publisher
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 can
sale
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selling
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 all inventory and
prevent from
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preventing
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 overdue
products
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 .
For instance
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, in my country, buyers have
trend
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a trend
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 is spending money
for
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on
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 insignificant goods, most from China.
To sum up
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, despite the believed value of advertising in terms of providing information for the general public,
customers
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 are often tricked into buying
products
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 which are of little use in their lives. From my perspective, people should ignore
advertisements
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 and buy only what they need.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve clarity and coherence by structuring paragraphs more distinctly and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
language accuracy
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
task response
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task response
You provided a personal opinion in the conclusion, which is essential for this type of essay.
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