Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a problem that
students
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from many countries do not like to study
science
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subjects
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.
This
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has a great impact on society.
This
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essay examines the causes of
this
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problem and predicts its impact on society in the future. Modern
students
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have too many classes and
subjects
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in high school and
as a result
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, they cannot do everything they need to. They have chosen brunch
subjects
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and do it well
in contrast
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to others. Many
students
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focus on
subjects
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that are generally more useful in life,
such
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as economics, programming, and physical education. There is a tendency for scientific
subjects
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to seem more difficult than others and a large part of
students
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avoid them.
On the other hand
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, young people do not like to study at all, and
subjects
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such
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as chemistry, physics, and mathematics are very boring for them. How could
this
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affect our society?
Although
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science
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subjects
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are often not connected to real life, they are very useful for training the brain. When a person solves problems, their brain produces neurons.
This
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affects the increase in intelligence capabilities. If
students
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do not study
science
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subjects
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, they will not be intelligent. For other possible reasons, fires are becoming more and more distant from nature. They do not know about the basic laws of the universe. And the
last
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possible effect is that fewer people become engineers and scientists.
This
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affects the decline of technology and the development of humanity. In conclusion,
this
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issue is very dramatic. Teachers should make
science
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subjects
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more interesting for
students
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. Because
this
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can increase the knowledge of the average student.

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task achievement
Make sure that your introduction clearly outlines the specific issues you will explore and your stance on them. This helps the reader understand the focus of your essay right away.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to your overall argument. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, when discussing how studying science influences intelligence, providing data or studies can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear attempt to address the topic by examining the causes and impacts, which is a good approach.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical progression, moving from causes to societal impacts, which helps readers follow your thoughts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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