IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some youngsters are taking a year off after finishing school. What are the benefits of it? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is trendy among the young generation to take a gap
year
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 after attending school. There are some benefits of it like earning some experience and money. Despite that, I don’t think that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages. I will discuss both views in my essay. On the one hand, taking a
year
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 off can be beneficial in terms of earning some money for future studies. There are lots of students who cannot afford to
study
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 in top universities.
For
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this
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 reason, they have to work at least a
year
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 to be financially supported. My cousin Shahzod is a good example of
this
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 situation. He wants to
study
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 abroad and he is working in a car wash centre to be able to pay for it.
On the other hand
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, missing a whole
year
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 and working full-time may lead to a loss of the desire to
study
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 anymore. In reality, youngsters have a lot of energy and time so they can work the whole day in energy-consuming jobs and get paid frankly.
However
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, having a good job and salary can cause of reduction in motivation for studying
further
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. My friend Olim was one of the best students in our class and always wanted to get accepted into MIT. Actually, he has good programming skills and now working in a local company. He says he doesn’t want to go abroad anymore. In conclusion, I don’t agree with getting a
year
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 off though it is becoming more popular among youngsters recently. Some may earn money in
this
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 period, but it leads to a lack of motivation to
study
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 in the future.

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task achievement
Try to expand your introduction by briefly outlining the main arguments you will discuss in the essay. This will help guide the reader and establish a clear structure for your text.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure that you consistently link your ideas using cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in addition, however). This will enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
In your conclusion, consider restating your opinion more strongly and summarising key points to reinforce your argument. This wraps up your essay effectively.
task achievement
The use of personal examples to illustrate points strengthens your arguments and makes your ideas more relatable.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which reflects an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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