IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

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An increasing number of citizens have just started using vehicles in unstable
countries
Use synonyms
 leading to traffic congestion. In my opinion, a solution can be found by upgrading the public transportation system. Nowadays, the introduction of new automobiles in
countries
Use synonyms
 where living conditions are not stable
,
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apply
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 is most likely to create an inconvenience among citizens as they face difficulties in
daily-commuting
Correct your spelling
daily commuting
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 especially in densely populated cities.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, the more people acquire cars, the more crashes are likely to happen.
According to
Linking Words
 a recent survey published by "The Guardian", in overpopulated
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Nigeria, a significant number of pedestrians have been injured
due to
Linking Words
 the
high-speed
Correct your spelling
high speed
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of machines.
For example
Linking Words
, in Abuja,
capital
Correct article usage
the capital
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 of the country previously mentioned, a child
has got
Wrong verb form
was
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 hit by a motorcycle sustaining several broken bones in the incident.
However
Linking Words
, effective measures are thought to be implemented by the authorities of the affected
countries
Use synonyms
 to better manage the traffic, especially during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rush hours.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, through a good investment made by the government in eco-buses, trains or other means
such
Linking Words
 as metro or cable car, the percentage of transit will steadily decrease.
For instance
Linking Words
, Japan has launched a new multimodal transport innovation that allows a robot to be the conductor of the train.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly related to the question. This will help improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Provide more varied examples and deeper insights into potential solutions to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and ensure precise communication.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing problems and potential solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction outlines the context well and sets the stage for the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • fuel prices
  • imported oil
  • road maintenance
  • public transportation
  • economic inequality
  • societal divide
What to do next:
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