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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In these
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These
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 days, it is conspicuous that many
offices
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construct
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are constructed
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more
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with more
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as
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apply
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open-space
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designsopen-space
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apply
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designs than
of
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apply
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separate rooms for work.
This
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 essay will argue that the advantages of
open-space
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 constructions overweight the drawbacks.
This
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 essay will first demonstrate that the structure of
open-space
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offices
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 ensures more benefits
such
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 as good interaction with colleagues and motivate each other which
affect
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apply
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positively to mental health, followed by an analysis of how its primary disadvantage is that it could
leads
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lead
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 to
catch
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catching
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 a cold faster. The main positive aspect of open-plan workspaces
that
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is that
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 co-workers can maintain discussion tasks better during
the
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apply
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teamwork because when they sit next to each other they have more opportunities for understanding clearly which ensures finishing the problems on time.
Additionally
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, nowadays, taking care of mental health is very important and working in
shared
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a shared
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 workspace gives possibilities to motivate and
keep
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maintaining
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a
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apply
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good communication between colleagues that influences on desire to work.
Moreover
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,
open-space
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offices
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 have more
area
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areas
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 ensuring the ventilated air that safe employees from bacteria and diseases.
For example
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, recent research showed that employees who work in separate rooms catch a grip more often than workers
of
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apply
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in open-plan
offices
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. Opponents argue that
open-space
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offices
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 are noisier because of the abundance number of employees, making concentrating challenging.
However
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,
this
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 drawback is becoming less significant, as many people prioritize their well-being.
For instance
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, a big corporation
such
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 as Apple, Microsoft,
Google
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and Google
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 have favoured open-plan workspaces that positively impact working processes. In conclusion,
while
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 loud voices of colleagues can be less convenient, mental health care, effective conversation, and ventilated air that the shared
offices
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 provide clearly overweight
this
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 disadvantage.

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language
Try to maintain more accuracy in your phrasing, for example, 'the advantages outweigh the disadvantages' instead of 'the advantages...overweight the drawbacks'.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are clearly supported with specific examples. Some points, like the impact of open-space designs on mental health, could use a more concrete example to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your counterargument to provide a more balanced view. Explaining how some companies mitigate noise in open-space offices could enhance your analysis.
content
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a logical argument supporting the advantages of open-space offices.
structure
Your introduction effectively outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay, providing a good roadmap for the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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