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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below presents the food consumption per person weekly in a European country in 1992, 2002 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below presents the food consumption per person weekly in a European country in 1992, 2002 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 information about how much
eaten
Add a missing verb
is eaten
show examples
 per individual every seven days in European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 over 20 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table illustrates several types of food including
vegetables
Use synonyms
, meat , wheat,
bean
Fix the agreement mistake
beans
show examples
 and cheese. It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that
vegetables
Use synonyms
 were
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest consumption.
On the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
show examples
 the
lowset
Correct your spelling
lowest
show examples
 eating was cheese .
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2012 , European people were
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than in the years 1992 and 2002
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the consumption of
vegetables
Use synonyms
 was 2220 per
person
Use synonyms
. The most common after
vegetables
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 meat
as well as
Linking Words
 there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
similar
Change the adjective
similarly
show examples
consumped
Correct your spelling
consumed
 between 1992 and 2012
while
Linking Words
 in 2002 there are
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
to eat
Change preposition
in eating
show examples
 meat to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1211 per
person
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 Bean
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consumption was a significant increase to reach the higher uses in 2012 it saw nearly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
600 per
person
Use synonyms
. In 1992, European people
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 do not prefer cheese
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made up 133 per
person
Use synonyms
, even
Correct word choice
though
show examples
so
Add the comma(s)
so,
show examples
 the
expediture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 was
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
show examples
 in the year 2002 and 2012 to
recorded
Change the form of the verb
record
show examples
 the same amount
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 accounted for 125 per
person
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vegetables, person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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