IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is a great invention which has changed the world. many people think it is a big help while others think it causes problems. Give both advantages and disadvantages for the internet.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The world has changed because of technology. The
internet
Use synonyms
 has many qualities. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say it is great and others say that it is a problem.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at both the advantages and disadvantages of the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. there are many
advanteges
Correct your spelling
advantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 .
people
Use synonyms
 need
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 to communicate with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 friends and
familys
Correct your spelling
family
families
.
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
The internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it easier to
commuicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with others .
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
allowed
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
 without
usimg
Correct your spelling
using
 a muscle .
moreover
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it easier for
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to catch up with
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 .
furthermore
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
an
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
 be
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 for fun activities .
people
Use synonyms
 like to spend
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 video games with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 .ontheother hand
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to spend
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 watching
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
shows and films .
also
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 find it
Correct your spelling
interesting
intresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 to spend some
time
Use synonyms
 watching the news
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 .
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other think online shopping is fun
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 to do .online
Correct your spelling
shopping
shoppping
Correct your spelling
shopping
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it easy for
people
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
especially
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
 the elderly because they get tired easily when they are walking at the mall .
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 thinks that online shopping help them buying stuff they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 find easily in the mall because it got
soldout
Correct your spelling
sold out
show examples
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 many disadvantages
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.first spending
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
healthproblem .
Correct your spelling
health problems such
such
Linking Words
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 lazziness and getting tired easily
while
Linking Words
 working
.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
moreover
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
 can
made
Change the verb form
be made
make
show examples
 us addicted to it .
on the other hand
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
 will let us face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online theft.
wich it
Correct your spelling
which is
show examples
 hard for the
govrement
Correct your spelling
government
 to deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.and
Correct your spelling
and
 hard for us to communicate easily .
Linking Words
also
Capitalize word
Also
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 can distract us from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality .
moreover
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
rase
Verb problem
increases
show examples
 the
comparing
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 between
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
joulesy
Correct your spelling
joules
 and other
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
internet
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 us lose
oir
Correct your spelling
our
 control
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it is easy to see that the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 has both advantages and disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammatical feature
Ensure proper capitalization and punctuation throughout the essay.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more thoroughly. Include specific examples to support your points better.
grammatical feature
Work on your spelling to improve clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the internet, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence
The structure of having an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is present, indicating a clear attempt to organize your thoughts logically.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: