Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others believe that there are better ways to show that we care about them. *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #gifts #friends #show #care #*discuss

Giving

gifts

and presents is a

way

to show our

care

and love for friends and family.

However

, some

people

believe that there are other ways to demonstrate concern for them.

This

essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I agree that other methods are more fundamental.

To begin

with, it is widely accepted that buying

gifts

and presents indicates

care

for someone.

This

is a common cultural practice that plays a significant role in birthdays, rituals, and other important events.

For example

, on birthdays,

people

often buy presents to express their kindheartedness.

Moreover

, in some religions,

such

as Yom Kippur in Judaism or Ashura in Islam,

people

give

gifts

to each other to celebrate these occasions. These are clear illustrations of the importance of buying

gifts

and presents to connect

people

in society.

On the other hand

, there are other ways to show our

care

for someone. Communicating sincerely and trying to understand their problems can be an effective

way

to express our emotions.

This

is vitally important because, as humans, we need someone in our bad times more than in our good times. Not only acknowledging their struggles but

also

helping them overcome their issues can be a meaningful

way

to have a lasting impact on them.

For instance

, my uncle helped me learn English at a very young age, which has had a profound impact on my career.

Therefore

, I personally agree that other ways are more essential than just buying

gifts

to show our

care

for

people

. In conclusion,

while

buying

gifts

and presents is an integral part of global culture to depict our

care

and love, assisting individuals with their challenges is a more valuable

way

to demonstrate our concern.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Wed Sep 04 2024

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task achievement

To reach higher scores, you could develop your main points further with more specific examples and explanations for each point. This will enhance the completeness and depth of your response.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to include clear topic sentences for each paragraph and perhaps use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance overall coherence. Transition statements between ideas could also be more explicit.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

The main points are supported with relevant examples that reinforce the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others believe that there are better ways to show that we care about them. *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?