As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution. Angsa

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Nowadays youngsters frequently engage themselves in watching television or surfing their phones at home in their free

time

Use synonyms

rather than doing outdoor activities.

This

Linking Words

essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is parental inattentiveness and submit quality

time

Use synonyms

between parents and kids as a viable solution. The main cause of the sedentary lifestyle of youth sticking to cell phones or TV is parental neglect. By finding entertaining programmes in the best calming ways, mothers and fathers do not realise how they are implementing detrimental knock-on effects on the both mental and physical health of their kids by not sparing their

time

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with them.

Moreover

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, mothers and fathers themselves can be addicted to these devices, exposing less to the outdoor world and setting a bad example.

For example

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, statistics provided by the Ministry of Health and Wellbeing of Kazakhstan indicate that 56% of the young generation, leading a sedentary lifestyle with electronic gadgets, are the children of those adults who are prone to the same type of problem. The most practical solution to

this

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concern is spending dedicated

time

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in the family circle, by walking in nature and doing pastime activities outside together. Not only does

this

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way encourage children to maintain a more active way of life without gadgets, but it

also

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creates a fulfilling life with enriched various benefits,

such

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as a healthy body and memorable moments in their childhood.

Furthermore

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, if the youngsters are provided with all the necessary equipment to play outside by adults, they will be prone to stay-at-home settings.

For instance

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, my uncle, Rakhymzhan, reduced the screen hours of his sons, by equipping a multitude of entertaining game tools and sparing 30 minutes a day, despite having a busy schedule. In conclusion, the increasing number of hours children, leading sedentary lifestyles and watching various gadgets, has been caused by the neglectful attention of parents and they can solve the issue by spending dedicated hours with them.

ansa13Thu Feb 06 2025

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task achievement

Strengthen the introduction by explicitly stating the problems caused by reduced outdoor activity.

coherence cohesion

Make sure all main points are clearly connected to the central argument of parental neglect.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your claims, especially in your body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Good use of statistics to support your argument about parental influence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution. Angsa

Your opinion

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q. Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.