IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that schools should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think schools should choose
students
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their academic abilities,
while
Linking Words
 others think it is better to have
students
Use synonyms
 of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. In the contemporary period, a number of
people
Use synonyms
 think that paying attention to the education of
students
Use synonyms
 is important, and
this
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 topic causes a lot of arguments. Some individuals believe that schools should choose
students
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their academic abilities,
while
Linking Words
 others believe they should study in the same
school
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. Other
people
Use synonyms
 say that they should separate levels of knowledge and study in the same environment. On the one hand,
it is clear that
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 schools choosing learners
according to
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 learning power is beneficial because it helps save time for suitable programs for all
students
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.
Additionally
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, it helps decrease peer pressure in the
school
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, where all
students
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 have equal educational backgrounds.
For example
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, if a
student
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 has a low academic level, their self-assurance will decrease, and they will live in stress.
Moreover
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, the
student
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 may leave
school
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 and play truant.
On the other hand
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, a number of
people
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 oppose
this
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 and believe it is better to have
students
Use synonyms
 of various capabilities studying together.
Because not
Correct word choice
Not
show examples
 only does it create a competitive environment, but it
also
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 creates opportunities for
students
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 to learn and support each other. It helps boost their knowledge.
For instance
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, I used to be a bad
student
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 when I was in high
school
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. I sat next to the best
student
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, Nam. He supported me with my reading, and I was getting better. Eventually, I passed all my exams that year.
Furthermore
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, he was my best friend since my childhood. In summary, I note that
although
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 both views have some truth, it seems to me that it is better to have
students
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 with different levels of academic backgrounds together.

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task achievement
Try to be more explicit in presenting your own opinion in the introduction and conclusion. It should be clearer that you favor mixed-ability classes.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly by using linkers and cohesive devices. For example, cohesive phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' can help establish clear relationships between your points.
task achievement
Consider developing your second main point in more detail. While you mentioned the supportive environment of mixed-ability classes, providing additional examples or explanations would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing you grasp the topic well.
task achievement
The personal example you included adds authenticity and makes your point of view relatable. Personal experiences often enhance the quality of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic abilities
  • learning outcomes
  • collaborate
  • instruction
  • tailor
  • gifted students
  • advanced material
  • thrive
  • diversity
  • social skills
  • empathy
  • peer tutoring
  • encouragement
  • collaborative learning
  • self-esteem
  • retention rates
  • inclusive atmosphere
  • holistic approach
  • intelligence
  • ability
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