The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in creeping

cell

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phones

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in every aspect of modern life. Despite some societal and mental challenges,

this

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tool has broadened links

as well as

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businesses.

This

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essay will first explain consequent risks and

then

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explore why the

overall

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impact of

this

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technology has been beneficial before presenting my own view. On one hand, mental disorders are the main disadvantageous result of the overutilization of mobile. Prolonged exposure to

mobiles

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' electromagnetic radiation and screen light disrupts the function of brain cells, resulting in insomnia, declined concentration span and forgetfulness. Studies indicate that 80% of users suffer from a lack of sleep.

In addition

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this

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gadget has exaggerated social isolation.

According to

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a survey, 90% of respondents rated socializing through

mobiles

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more convenient and comfortable than face-to-face interactions; meanwhile, the resulting loneliness and depression are

also

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annoying.

As a result

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, overconsuming

cell

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phones

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can jeopardize human well-being.

On the other hand

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cell

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phones

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have revolutionized human life in a positive way. One crucial advantage of

Cell

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phones

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is the facilitated connections. The small size and

also

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lightweight make

mobiles

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highly portable, which keeps users in touch with their loved ones even in faraway places with the click of a button.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the capability of connection to the Internet has made

this

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device an efficient one for enhancing diverse businesses.

For instance

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, browsing on various platforms

such

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as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter makes users familiar with new goods through ubiquitous adverts, attracting

further

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customers.

Finally

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and even more importantly, mobile

phones

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have eliminated many comings and goings, making

such

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tools more eco-friendly. These merits,

therefore

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, convert

cell

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phones

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into inevitable tools in modern life In conclusion, I feel that the benefits of

this

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electronic gadget far outweigh its drawbacks. Given the health risks associated with

this

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trend, a balanced usage of

mobiles

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is justified.

golriiz23Fri Feb 07 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay and prepares the reader for what to expect. However, the phrasing could be more straightforward for better clarity. For instance, replacing 'creeping cell phones' with a more common phrase like 'the prevalence of mobile phones' would enhance readability.

task achievement

In your conclusion, reiterate the main points discussed in your essay more explicitly. This will reinforce the argument and help the reader recall the key ideas presented throughout the essay.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, they could be strengthened with more specific details or statistics to enhance persuasiveness. For instance, providing specific studies or more in-depth statistics could provide clearer evidence of the points made.

task achievement

Your essay effectively covers both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone use, which is essential for a balanced argument.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphing that helps guide the reader through your argument.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

over-reliance
cyberbullying
screen time
data privacy
identity theft
financial fraud
eye strain
sleep disorders
chronic issues
productivity
notifications
validation
self-esteem

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