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Writing Samples
Band 7

TOPIC 12: Some businesses find that new employees finishing education lack basic interpersonal ability such as working with others as a part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? How to solve this problem?

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Some businesses find that new
employees
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 who have just finished their
education
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 lack basic interpersonal
skills
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,
such
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 as
teamwork
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.
This
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 is a serious issue because
teamwork
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 is important in most workplaces. There are several causes of
this
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 problem, but there are
also
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 solutions that can help. One major cause of
this
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 problem is the
education
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 system. Many schools and universities focus more on academic knowledge rather than practical
skills
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. Students spend a lot of time studying alone for exams and writing essays, but they do not have enough group projects or
teamwork
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activities
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.
As a result
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, they do not learn how to work well with others. Another reason is technology and social media. Many young people spend more time communicating online rather than face-to-face. They are used to texting and chatting on social media
instead
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 of having real conversations. Because of
this
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, they may struggle to communicate clearly and cooperate with others in the workplace. One solution to
this
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 problem is to change the
education
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 system. Schools and universities should include more group work and
teamwork
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activities
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 in their lessons.
For example
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, students can do more projects together or participate in team-based competitions.
This
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 will help them learn how to share ideas, solve problems, and cooperate with others. Another solution is for businesses to provide training programs. When new
employees
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 start a job, companies can give them
teamwork
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 training. They can organize workshops, team-building
activities
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, and mentorship programs to help
employees
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 develop better interpersonal
skills
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. In conclusion, the lack of interpersonal
skills
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 in new
employees
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 is caused by too much focus on academic learning and too much use of technology. To solve
this
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 issue,
education
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 systems should include more
teamwork
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activities
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, and businesses should offer training programs to improve communication and cooperation among
employees
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.

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content
Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your points, particularly where you discuss the impact of technology on interpersonal skills and the benefits of proposed solutions.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to create a clearer flow of ideas. For instance, linking the causes more explicitly to the implications could enhance coherence.
content
The introduction clearly states the issue and outlines the causes and solutions, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the importance of addressing the lack of interpersonal skills in the workforce, providing a strong closing statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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