IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, some
people
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 hold the view that
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people live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in a nation where you should speak a foreign
language
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 can lead to some social problems, meanwhile,
practial
Correct your spelling
practical
 problems. In my opinion, I disagree
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this
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with this
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 opinion, It is because though there are some differences
bewteen
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between
people
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come
Correct pronoun usage
who come
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 from different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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,
people
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 should only understand and respect these differences. On the one hand, there are all kinds of tools that
people
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 can
use
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to avoid
some
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apply
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cultural
conflict
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conflicts
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. Through the development of
sceince
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science
 and technology,
people
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 can
use
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 all kinds of
method
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methods
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 to understand
the
Correct article usage
a
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 foreign
language
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. Through these tools,
people
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 can
also
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understands
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understand
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 the opinions
from
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of
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 other
people
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, meanwhile, these science products can
also
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 help
people
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 translate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sentences fast and right. To be honest, these tools are just like an important part
in
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of
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 daily life.
People
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 can not live without them.
In addition
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,
people
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 can
also
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use
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 body
language
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 to express their views. Nowadays more
people
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 always support that if they can not speak
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language
Add an article
the language
a language
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at
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apply
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abroad, they will
can
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apply
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not understand the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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means of local
people
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.
However
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, they never think they can
use
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 their arms and legs to explain when they talk with others. Body
language
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 is one of the most useful
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language
Change to a plural noun
languages
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 in the world. It is because it is easy to understand. In conclusion,
people
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 not being able to speak a foreign
language
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 is not leading to some social problems.
People
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 should learn some ways to help them understand the words
from
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of
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 other
people
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.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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people
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 should
also
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 be encouraged to talk some questions with other
people
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 from different backgrounds confidently.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and avoid ambiguous phrases. Additionally, include more support for your arguments by referencing real-life examples or experiences to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs better. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and ensure a logical flow between them. Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for responding to the task.
task achievement
You attempt to explain your ideas through different means, such as tools and body language, showing a good understanding of the issues at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
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