IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In today's modern world, the availability of
information
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—whether educational, scientific, or business-related—has increased immensely.
While
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 some believe that the unrestricted exchange of
knowledge
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 benefits society, others argue that certain
information
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 is too valuable or sensitive to be shared freely.
Although
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 both perspectives have their merits, I believe that freely sharing
knowledge
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 fosters greater literacy, innovation, and societal progress when used responsibly. On the one hand, the free exchange of
information
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 can have significant positive impacts on individuals and society as a whole.
Access
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 to
knowledge
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 enables self-improvement by allowing people to acquire new skills that can be applied in their personal and professional lives. In the workplace, candidates with diverse skill sets are often more attractive to employers, giving them a competitive advantage.
Additionally
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, entrepreneurs and business owners can benefit from freely available data to generate innovative ideas and enhance their creativity, ultimately driving economic growth and development.
On the other hand
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, unrestricted
access
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 to
information
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also
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 carries certain risks. Sensitive data,
such
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 as proprietary business strategies, confidential research findings, or national security intelligence, could be exploited by malicious parties, leading to unethical or harmful consequences.
Moreover
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, limiting
access
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 to certain
information
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 helps prevent misinformation and confusion. In the scientific field,
for instance
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, premature or unverified findings could mislead the public, contributing to the spread of misinformation or hoaxes.
Therefore
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, some argue that restricting
access
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 to crucial data is necessary to protect public interests and ensure
information
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 reliability. In conclusion,
while
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 concerns about misuse and misinformation are valid, I believe that open
access
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 to
knowledge
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 is essential for societal advancement. When managed responsibly, freely available
information
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 enhances education, creativity, and innovation, ultimately contributing to a more informed and progressive world.

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Task Achievement
Consider incorporating specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments and support your points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the transition between paragraphs for smoother flow and coherence, possibly by using linking phrases or summarizing points more clearly.
Task Achievement
Your introduction sets a clear context and presents both sides of the argument effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall logical structure of your essay is strong, with clearly defined sections and relevant points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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