Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#director #mangers #people #leaders

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Some

people

think that young

people

will become better leaders,whilst directors and managers in general are older

people

. I partly agree with

this

statement that young

people

should be in the first place. On the one hand, most older

people

in leadership have gained valuable experience,which can help maintain their employees. They know what to do in extreme situations and how to be confident.

Moreover

,the vast majority of directors and managers have made wide decisions,which undoubtedly saved their company from being bankrupt and losing their business.

For example

, we can see that many companies which are popular nowadays have an old leader,who inspires faith in his workers and knows what is best for sale. Age in most cases is comparable to safety and responsibility.

On the other hand

, young

people

in leadership are more creative and have certain characteristics to become successful directors. Many of them,

due to

their age, can work harder and achieve more goals.

For example

,Mark Zuckerberg, owner and leader of Facebook,was

young

Rephrase

too young

show examples

to do his company,

however

, he made it on the most popular social platform Facebook,which made him successful with his ideas.

However

,many young leaders should study more to achieve

this

goal and have to practice through their mistakes,which makes them more effective and confident.

Overall

, most owners of companies and managers are older,

due to

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

fact they are more familiar with their work,which makes them confident and they know what to do in extreme situations, because they have gained valuable experience. Regardless of their ages,the vast majority of leaders should be young,because they need

practice

Fix the infinitive

to practice

show examples

from mistakes,to be good

leader

Fix the agreement mistake

leaders

show examples

Submitted by batirka06 on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Task Achievement

You've presented a balanced view, acknowledging the value of experience older leaders bring while also recognizing the innovative potentials of younger leaders. To enhance your essay, consider expanding on each point with more in-depth analysis and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.

Task Achievement

Providing examples like Mark Zuckerberg helps to support your argument about the potential of young leaders.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?