Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker. Some people think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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In modern society, the gap between the poor
people
and the rich
people
is growing, which is unhealthy for the stabilization and development of a country.
This
trend has been discovered in multiple developed countries. Some
people
think those
managers
don't deserve salaries that are much more than the
workers
while
others believe they do. The essay will discuss the pros and cons of offering large salaries to
managers
. One of the main reasons that
workers
should receive the same or similar income as much as
managers
do, is that
workers
are the group who are actually productive.
By contrast
, those directors who only assign objectives to the
workers
,
instead
of doing them directly. Another reason is that
workers
usually have to take pressure from their
managers
while
managers
don't feel at risk of losing their jobs.
Therefore
, any worker would be unhappy and feel unfair
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the moment.
On the other hand
,
although
the
people
who really complete the tasks in the company are
workers
, most of the giant companies in modern society, have well-developed systems to run their businesses, aiming to lower costs and
also
increase profits. These systems were built by
managers
such
as the chief executive with their knowledge of business administration. On top of that, these skills are invaluable, without good decisions made by the board members or the
managers
, the company might lose the business war and be surpassed by the other competitors.
For example
, most worker need someone to supervise their work. They need guidance from the
managers
so they can know their missions and tasks clearly.
Furthermore
, employees
also
have to cooperate with the other co-
workers
.
As a result
of collective intelligence, teamwork can always beat those who do not work in a team. In my opinion,
while
actually physically producing products is important, and not replaceable,
however
, they need someone who can make the right decisions and lead the team to win the market and generate more money.
Submitted by jamexhuang on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument in the essay.
task achievement
Try to address counterarguments or alternate perspectives in more detail to enhance the essay's depth and balance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear and logical flow throughout your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to both views of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction aptly sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with distinct paragraphs each focusing on a particular aspect of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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