Many children today are overweight and unhealthy. This can lead to serious health problems. Give the reasons why children are so overweight today and also give some solutions to fix this problem.

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The world has changed and that includes the eating habits of

children

Use synonyms

. Many

children

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today suffer from obesity and poor physical health.

This

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is dangerous and can lead to other problems.

This

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essay will examine the reasons for

this

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situation and give solutions to fix the problem.

First,

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the most common reason why nowadays

children

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are fat is junk

food

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Children

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can’t control their self when it comes to

food

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Moreover

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Children

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get fat because of the

distraction

Replace the word

distracting

show examples

devices

such

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Phones, TV, or PC. And these devices are the reason to not feel full

while

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eating so they ask for more

food

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without them noticing.

Also

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, laziness plays

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role

Change preposition

show examples

children

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being fat.

Furthermore

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, they don’t get enough time of sleep. They prefer to stay awake late at night.

In addition

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Children

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can

get

Verb problem

show examples

affected by

people

Correct article usage

the people

show examples

around them. There are many ways to solve

this

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big problem.

First,

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putting a specific Nutrition schedule is the easiest way to solve the problem. But the

children

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don’t like it when

parents

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force them to do something like eating healthy

food

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. Same as doing exercises so they can get thin. So,

parents

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should raise their awareness before telling them what to do

not

Correct word choice

or not

show examples

to do.

Also

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children

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will do exercise when they see their

parents

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doing it.

Finally

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, it

depend

Change the verb form

depends

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onthe

Correct your spelling

on the

Use synonyms

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

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. In conclusion, it is clear to see that

children

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today suffer from obesity because of many problems.

However

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, there is hope as there are several good solutions to help them with

this

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health issue.

alfredSat Feb 08 2025

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task achievement

Consider elaborating on the reasons for obesity beyond mentioning junk food and distractions, such as the role of socioeconomic factors or marketing targeted at children.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points on solutions, like specific strategies that schools or communities can adopt.

coherence and cohesion

Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance cohesion. For instance, clearly linking how distractions lead to poor eating habits and subsequently health issues would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Add a clearer definition or discussion regarding parental influence and how it can be positively directed towards healthy habits, rather than just focusing on enforcement.

coherence and cohesion

You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making the essay easy to follow.

task achievement

You raised relevant issues surrounding children's obesity, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Many children today are overweight and unhealthy. This can lead to serious health problems. Give the reasons why children are so overweight today and also give some solutions to fix this problem.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

you need to arganize an affice event in a community center to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the company. write a letter to your owner about 1- request the budget of the cermony 2- explain the importance of event 3- ask hi using the conference room on that date.

today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.