IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people feel that it is obligatory
that
Change preposition
for
show examples
 professionals,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and engineers, to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
 as they completed their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 other people believe there should not be any restrictions for
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in another nation if they want to. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both arguments and explain why I think
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 should not be restricted
to
Change preposition
from working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 abroad. On one hand, experts, who completed their study in a particular
country
Use synonyms
, tend to have a better understanding of the
Use synonyms
country specific
Add a hyphen
country-specific
show examples
 situations and cases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is relatively easier for them to overcome
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
-specific challenges compared to foreign experts.
For instance
Linking Words
, a doctor, who finished their school in Indonesia, tends to have a better knowledge of Indonesia-specific diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as typhus.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 have a deeper understanding of how to cure these kinds of diseases, given a unique Indonesian citizen’s body
conditions
Fix the agreement mistake
condition
show examples
, which is very beneficial for the medical practices in the associated
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if specialist are prohibited
to
Change preposition
from working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 abroad, it may potentially limit their potential.
This
Linking Words
 is because not every
country
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 sufficient
job
Use synonyms
 demand for specific expertise, which eventually
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to them being unemployed or
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
pursuing other unaligned career opportunities.
For example
Linking Words
, a nuclear engineering graduate from one of the universities in Indonesia, faced numerous challenges
finding
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 Indonesia did not have adequate specific
job
Use synonyms
 demands for nuclear.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is imperative for these specialists to pursue their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 abroad as it will give them opportunities to grow
further
Linking Words
. In conclusion, I think professionals should not be prohibited
to
Change preposition
from working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 abroad.
While
Linking Words
 it is crucial for them to
work
Use synonyms
 in a
country
Use synonyms
 where they finished their study as they have a deeper knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
’s specific circumstances, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to consider that not every
country
Use synonyms
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 a specific
job
Use synonyms
 demand that can support the professional’s
further
Linking Words
 developments.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider refining your arguments to make them more balanced by providing more specific examples for each viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain grammatical accuracy to enhance readability and clarity. For example, instead of 'to work in the same country as they completed their study', it can be simplified to 'to work in the country where they trained.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct article usage, as in 'if specialists are prohibited' instead of 'if specialist are prohibited'.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for a discussion essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: