IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Working abroad can help employees earn a great deal of money and gain more benefits. However, some people think this trend has many negative impacts. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that working in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 earn huge salaries and get more advantages,
whereas
Linking Words
 others say that it brings certain drawbacks.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that working on a global level in a developed
country
Use synonyms
 can help an individual earn more money,
however
Linking Words
, it cannot be denied that they end up uprooted from their own culture and norms from their native
countries
Use synonyms
.
although
Linking Words
 the latter statement can be true in some cases, I believe that there are several benefits of working in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, working abroad in a fully developed
country
Use synonyms
 opens a new pathway of opportunities for an individual which he may not achieve in his home
country
Use synonyms
. Many working professionals move to a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 to earn more money, get better job positions, and support their families financially. To cite an example, in underdeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
 like Bangladesh and Pakistan, the economy is draining drastically
due to
Linking Words
 political unrest,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to
countries
Use synonyms
 like Australia and the USA
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they are able to earn more money and live a better lifestyle.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living and working in a different nation can be overwhelming for non-native residents.
People
Use synonyms
 from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds living in Western
countries
Use synonyms
 often feel homesick during festivities and cultural events,
as well as
Linking Words
 they lose connections with their language and religious norms sometimes.
For instance
Linking Words
, many teenagers moving abroad forget about their cultural values and fully adapt to the norms of the foreign
country
Use synonyms
 they are living in.
However
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
 is not the case for everyone, and with the access to Internet,
people
Use synonyms
 are connected to their families back home . In conclusion, undoubtedly the negative impacts of living abroad are overwhelming, but the perks of living in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 and making a career all alone is a great achievement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction so readers clearly understand your viewpoint. Also, be consistent in using 'open' or 'opened' in the context of opportunities.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain tense consistency throughout. For instance, phrases like 'the economy is draining' could be better stated as 'has been draining' for clarity.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of different perspectives on working abroad.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples that enhance your argument about the reasons people move abroad and the cultural challenges they face.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional growth
  • Cultural shock
  • Remittances
  • Global networking
  • Expatriate
  • Brain drain
  • Reverse culture shock
  • Cross-cultural communication
  • Exploitation
  • Professional migration
  • Economic benefits
  • Bilateral agreements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: