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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people now work from home due to technological advancements. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.

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There is no doubt that working remotely offers numerous benefits,
such
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 as a flexible
work
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 schedule and saving time
on
Change preposition
in
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 getting to an office.
However
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, it
also
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 comes with drawbacks, including
motivation
Correct article usage
a motivation
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 decrease and
dificulties
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difficulties
 with the
work
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-life balance.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will explore both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 and negative aspects of remote
work
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.
To begin
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 with, the main advantage of online
work
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 is the opportunity to change employees'
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
 as they want.
This
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 approach
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 staff with the possibility to choose when exactly they will be working. It does not only have a positive impact on their well-being and emotional background,
moreover
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, can
improve
Rephrase
also improve
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 productivity, because people will know that
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 workload and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
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work-hours
Correct your spelling
work hours
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 depend on their results rather than a fixed schedule.
In addition
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,
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 from home can
allow to
Verb problem
apply
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reduce time waste because there is no necessity to attend an office every day.
On the other hand
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,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 job has downsides.
For example
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, it is often
deficult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 for workers to motivate themselves. Indeed, when an individual has a plethora of options
what
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for what
show examples
 to do, it requires significant
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 to choose
finishing
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between finishing
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 a project or filling in financial reports.
Furthermore
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, employees often encounter
the
Correct article usage
a
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 lack of structure in their environment.
Work
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 and life are not separated enough.
Eventaully
Correct your spelling
Eventually
, it leads to
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
work
Use synonyms
-life balance. In conclusion,
this
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 format of
work
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 has downsides and upsides. In order to maintain the balance we should consider both sides of
this
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 phenomenon. Only
such
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 an approach leads to well-being.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the disadvantages further and provide more examples to enhance understanding of the drawbacks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction outlines the advantages and disadvantages clearly in the thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Double-check for spelling errors, like 'dificulties' which should be 'difficulties', and 'Eventaully', which should be 'Eventually'.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which is critical for task achievement.
Task Achievement
The use of examples such as flexibility and productivity shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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