IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With more people choosing to watch travel programs on TV and social media, fewer people will be willing to pay the costs of traveling abroad. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The rise of
travel
Use synonyms
-related content on television and social
media
Use synonyms
 has sparked debate over whether virtual experiences discourage people from spending money on international trips.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that
such
Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
 reduces the incentive to
travel
Use synonyms
, I believe it predominantly inspires individuals to embark on real-life journeys, despite the associated costs.
Travel
Use synonyms
 programs and social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms like Instagram and YouTube showcase exotic destinations in captivating ways, often igniting a desire for firsthand experiences.
For example
Linking Words
, influencers sharing adventures in locations
such
Linking Words
 as Bali or Iceland create a sense of wanderlust among viewers. Many viewers, particularly younger generations, prioritize saving money to visit these places, viewing
travel
Use synonyms
 as a valuable life experience rather than a frivolous expense. Research suggests that exposure to
travel
Use synonyms
 content correlates with increased tourism, as seen in the “Instagram effect,” where iconic spots gain popularity after being featured online. Critics may argue that virtual
travel
Use synonyms
 offers a cost-effective alternative, especially for budget-conscious individuals or those with physical limitations. Retirees,
for instance
Linking Words
, might prefer documentaries over expensive trips.
However
Linking Words
, these cases represent a minority. Most audiences perceive
media
Use synonyms
 as a source of inspiration rather than a substitute. Advances in affordable
travel
Use synonyms
 options,
such
Linking Words
 as budget airlines and Airbnb,
further
Linking Words
 enable people to act on their aspirations.
Thus
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 financial barriers exist, they do not negate the strong motivational impact of
travel
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 virtual
travel
Use synonyms
 provides temporary satisfaction for some, its primary role is to fuel curiosity and encourage people to explore the world in person.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I disagree with the notion that increased consumption of
travel
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
 reduces willingness to pay for international trips.
Instead
Linking Words
, it often serves as a catalyst for real-world adventures.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, effectively arguing that travel media primarily inspires real-life journeys. However, consider expanding your discussion on how travel media influences different demographics or regions to strengthen your response further.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is strong, with clear progression from your introduction to your conclusion. However, you could enhance cohesion by incorporating more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
Task Achievement
While your examples from social media and influencers are pertinent and well-integrated, consider diversifying your examples to include specific studies or statistics that illustrate your points. This would enhance the clarity and richness of your ideas.
Positive Highlight
Your introduction clearly outlines your position and sets the stage for your argument. The use of effective examples, particularly from social media, adds depth to your argument.
Positive Highlight
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument and reinforces your main points effectively, leaving a strong final impression.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: