IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently bought a second-hand car from a company that sells used cars, but the car developed some problems. You have phoned, left messages and sent emails, but you have not heard anything from the company that sold you the car. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the problems you have had in contacting the company, and explain your dissatisfaction describe the problems with the car tell the manager what you want him to do

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Dear Sir/Madam,
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is to notify you that
couple
Change the article
a couple

It appears that the phrase couple does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 of weeks ago, I bought a second-hand
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from your
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. My WIN number is 1123432356 and it was booked under my name and
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 Dk Vaghela. I did try to call your
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 but no one did pick up.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I have sent messages
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 emails to the
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's designated email address but I have not heard anything back from your side. So,
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 week when I was going to Ottawa with my family and during the driving my
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 suddenly broke down, it stopped, I couldn't start again and I had to tow my
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from that place to my house. It was so frustrating for me and gave me dissatisfaction because I could not attend the meeting on that day. I was almost nearly to get fired from my job but
hopefully
Add a comma
hopefully,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase hopefully. Consider adding a comma.

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 my
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
got
Verb problem
will be

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
 satisfied with my clarification regarding that situation. So, could you please check my purchase receipt and WIN number and get somebody to grab my
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at your place to check it
.
Change the punctuation
?

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

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 In between that
time
Add a comma
time,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In between that time. Consider adding a comma.

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 I need a rental
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as I have to go to work
everyday
Replace the word
every day

The word everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
 and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 you have to pay me charges for towing service as I did pay by myself. I want to hear back from you soon. Yours sincerely, Dk Vaghela.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to start the letter with a clear greeting that addresses the manager directly, such as 'Dear Manager,' instead of 'Dear Sir/Madam'.
task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed explanation of your specific requests to the manager to enhance your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking up your paragraphs into clearer sections. For example, one for contacting issues, one for describing the car problem, and one for your requests.
coherence and cohesion
The letter follows a logical structure by explaining the problems before making a request, which is positive for coherence.
task achievement
You've provided clear details about the issues with the car and your attempts to contact the company, which is great for task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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