IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently bought a second-hand car from a company that sells used cars, but the car developed some problems. You have phoned, left messages and sent emails, but you have not heard anything from the company that sold you the car. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the problems you have had in contacting the company, and explain your dissatisfaction describe the problems with the car tell the manager what you want him to do

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Dear Sir/Madam,
This
Linking Words
 is to notify you that
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of weeks ago, I bought a second-hand
car
Use synonyms
 from your
company
Use synonyms
. My WIN number is 1123432356 and it was booked under my name and
that is
Linking Words
 Dk Vaghela. I did try to call your
company
Use synonyms
 but no one did pick up.
Also
Linking Words
, I have sent messages
as well as
Linking Words
 emails to the
company
Use synonyms
's designated email address but I have not heard anything back from your side. So,
last
Linking Words
 week when I was going to Ottawa with my family and during the driving my
car
Use synonyms
 suddenly broke down, it stopped, I couldn't start again and I had to tow my
car
Use synonyms
 from that place to my house. It was so frustrating for me and gave me dissatisfaction because I could not attend the meeting on that day. I was almost nearly to get fired from my job but
hopefully
Add a comma
hopefully,
show examples
 my
company
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
will be
show examples
 satisfied with my clarification regarding that situation. So, could you please check my purchase receipt and WIN number and get somebody to grab my
car
Use synonyms
 at your place to check it
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In between that
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 I need a rental
car
Use synonyms
 as I have to go to work
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 you have to pay me charges for towing service as I did pay by myself. I want to hear back from you soon. Yours sincerely, Dk Vaghela.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to start the letter with a clear greeting that addresses the manager directly, such as 'Dear Manager,' instead of 'Dear Sir/Madam'.
task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed explanation of your specific requests to the manager to enhance your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking up your paragraphs into clearer sections. For example, one for contacting issues, one for describing the car problem, and one for your requests.
coherence and cohesion
The letter follows a logical structure by explaining the problems before making a request, which is positive for coherence.
task achievement
You've provided clear details about the issues with the car and your attempts to contact the company, which is great for task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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