IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
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 have suggested that they should prohibit cars and public transport from
city
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 despite the only means of transportation to use is the bicycle.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 idea because that could protect the
environment
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 and it will stop
traffic
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accidents
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. The authorities have suggested that
people
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 should not drive vehicles in the
city
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, because that will help the
environment
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 by preventing the emissions of gas or petrol that cause air pollution. Air pollution causes serious health problems for
people
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such
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 as respiratory diseases.
For example
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 in Aden a
city
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 in South Yemen, 46% of the population has health problems with respiratory illness because of the air pollution that
people
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 breathe.
This
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 put a huge strain on the health service not only suffering the patients but
also
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 on their families. Another reason why the government should ban vehicles in the
city
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 is because of
traffic
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accidents
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.
Traffic
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accidents
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 are the worst thing that could happen to pedestrians. It could kill them or they could get injured by it. As we
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 are always busy
by
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with
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people
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 because
the
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of the
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 shops there, events and others, the safety
for
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of
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 the streets should be above anything for
people
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 to spend their day comfortably in the
center
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centre
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. In conclusion, the state of any nation should prohibit vehicles because that will help the
environment
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 and will reduce
traffic
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accidents
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,
people
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 should switch to bicycles because cycling is a friend to the
environment
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 and it does not cost a lot of money
moreover
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, it does not need to consume petrol.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction could be clearer. Consider rephrasing it to state that you agree with the idea outright, which would improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly link your points and examples in each paragraph, which will help make your argument more persuasive. For instance, you could use linking phrases to show cause and effect more clearly.
task achievement
Your conclusion should summarize your main points more effectively. Reiterate the major arguments rather than introducing new ideas like the cost of cycling in a concluding statement.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which is commendable. The example from Aden effectively illustrates the impact of air pollution on health.
coherence and cohesion
Your points about the benefits of banning vehicles are logically structured around environmental protection and safety, which are strong themes to focus on.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • traffic
  • improve
  • viable
  • population
  • investment
  • infrastructure
  • policy
What to do next:
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