Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monigor what people are saying and doing(for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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this

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modern world, privacy is

amajor

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a major

concern among people,the reason behind

this

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is technological gadgets, which are being used by some criminals to

monitered

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monitored

monitor

other

comon

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common

people for

commiting

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committing

crime

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crimes

show examples

According to

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me its disadvantage

overweigh

Verb problem

outweighs

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its advantage.

To begin

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with, the first and

formost

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foremost

demmerit

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demerit

demerits

tecnology

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technology

is fake users. To extend it,

nowdays

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nowadays

show examples

smartphones and computers are commonly used by teenagers as an entertainment source, through which sometimes they meet fake friends and without knowing them they share their

personel

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personal

photos and their

personel

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personal

personnel

social media

Id's

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IDs

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, and

crimial

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criminal

criminals

use

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them

show examples

for

commiting

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committing

commuting

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a crime

the crime

show examples

crime

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crimes

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Apart from

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this

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nowdays

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nowadays

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in some developing countries secret cameras are used by

peolpe

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people

to capture

others

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others'

other's

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privacy for blackmailing.

Moreover

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, In most cases

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bank robberies,

firstly

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crimals

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criminals

hack the

monitering sytem

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monitoring system

and

then

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they

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apply

show examples

use it

for checking

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to check

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location

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the location

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each

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apply

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and

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apply

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everyrthing

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everything

. After that

it;s

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it's

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easy for them to commit a crime.

maantaranveer4816Sun Feb 09 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Try to clearly express your main ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. It helps to use topic sentences that introduce the paragraphs' main idea.

task achievement

Make sure to provide a more balanced view by discussing some advantages, as well as focusing on the disadvantages. This will enrich your argument.

language accuracy

Improve your spelling and grammar for better clarity, as errors can detract from the overall quality of your essay.

task achievement

You have addressed the topic and provided specific points regarding the disadvantages of technology in monitoring.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay structure is present, with an introduction and body paragraphs, which is a good start for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

152 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 254 words.

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to express sympathy for comforting a friend during difficult time

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.