Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming important today. Is the attitude to wearing fashionalble clothes leading to a positve development or negative development?

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Nowadays,
a
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the
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number of
people
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who wear fashionable
clothes
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has increased and wearing fashionable
clothes
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has become important. Many
people
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think
that is
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a positive development. Others argue
that is
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a negative development.
This
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essay will discuss both opinions and provide my own opinion and reasons why I consider
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
To begin
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with, wearing fashionable
clothes
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has become important. And I agree with that attitude. Many
people
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believe that wearing fashionable outfits will be on trend all the time. It
also
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has many
significant
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significance
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.
For example
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, If I wear fashionable
clothes
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, I will be on trend and it makes me more confident.
In addition
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, wearing fashionable
clothes
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is negative.
For example
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,
People
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who wear fashionable
clothes
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will be on trend and change their
clothes
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many times. They will spend too much money for that reason. In conclusion, in my opinion, both can be either positive or negative. It depends on the person.
For example
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, I will wear fashionable
clothes
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, if I have an interview or go out because it makes me confident but I do not spend too much money on that

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Task Achievement
Consider developing the arguments in your body paragraphs more fully. Explain why people might view it positively or negatively with additional examples and reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the connection between your ideas to create a smoother flow. Use linking words and phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'furthermore,' 'on the other hand,' etc.
General Writing Improvement
Make sure to proofread your essay for small grammatical and punctuation errors, as they can distract from your overall message.
Content Engagement
You have made a clear attempt to present both sides of the argument, which is an essential skill in IELTS writing.
Personal Connection
Your personal opinion is present and you've made an effort to connect it to the discussion, which shows engagement with the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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