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Band 4

Over the years, I had a lot of changes in my life. Some of the most important changes were motivation, opinion, focus, NIS, and discipline.

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Over the years, I had a lot of
changes
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 in my life. Some of the most important
changes
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 were motivation, opinion, focus,
NIS
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, and
discipline
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. Those
changes
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 were because I got older, so I started being more active and achieving my goals. All those
changes
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 have changed my mind and brain. The first change was school
NIS
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.
NIS
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 is a school for special students, who must pass the exam, and I was studying very hard
last
Linking Words
 year. I have trained all my skills in math every day, and I had some motivation and focus on
NIS
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. So, I have met many different people, who gave me a lot of advice in the course. The second change was
discipline
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. I didn’t do any exercise and was very lazy, and I had problems with marks in school. But when I started making a plan and rules, I had just understood how education was important to me.
Discipline
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 has changed me as a person. In conclusion, I have changed as a person and become older, so I improved my skills in motivation,
discipline
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, and focus. I would not have results without effort and work.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each change you discuss. Provide more specific examples of how these changes impacted your life.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between ideas. Use linking words to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to define acronyms like 'NIS' when you first use them, as not all readers may know what they mean.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and provides personal insights into your changes over the years.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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