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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram represents the cyclic process of life of butterfly, beginning from adult moth that transform into an egg.

The diagram represents the cyclic process of life of
butterfly
Add an article
a butterfly
the butterfly
show examples
, beginning
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
adult
Add an article
an adult
show examples
 moth that
transform
Change the verb form
transforms
show examples
 into an egg.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a procedure alteration of a cyclical and a process of evolution
includes
Correct pronoun usage
that includes
show examples
 eight stages.
Initially
Linking Words
, eggs on milkweed are produced by an
adult
Use synonyms
 butterfly and
then
Linking Words
 they
transformed
Add a missing verb
are transformed
show examples
 into
14 days
Correct your spelling
14-day
 new hatched
larvae
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
larvae
Use synonyms
are evolving
Wrong verb form
evolve
show examples
 into
caterpillar
Fix the agreement mistake
caterpillars
show examples
 on milkweed.
Secondly
Linking Words
, change
attachment
Correct article usage
the attachment
show examples
 of
larva
Correct article usage
the larva
show examples
. It is
Use synonyms
larvae
Correct article usage
the larvae
show examples
 stage. So that,
larvae
Use synonyms
 appear on their hatch. Meanwhile,
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 ten days chrysalis
grown
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up her pupa,
then
Linking Words
appear
Wrong verb form
appeared
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
head
Correct article usage
a head
show examples
, six legs,
compound
Correct article usage
a compound
show examples
 eye, antennae, palps, four wings,
thorax
Correct article usage
a thorax
show examples
,
abdomen
Correct article usage
an abdomen
show examples
,
tails
Correct word choice
and tails
show examples
. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evolution continues occurring emergence of
Use synonyms
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
her
Correct pronoun usage
she
show examples
 becomes
six
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
months
Correct your spelling
six-month
show examples
 Migration
south
Capitalize word
South
show examples
 Mature butterfly.
Then
Linking Words
 starts Mating and egg laying.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the cyclic growth repeats itself over and over again starting from an
Adult
Use synonyms
 and ending with
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
 moth.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of insects or creatures develop in
such
Linking Words
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adult, larvae with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "represents" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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