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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Gia Linh

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In
the
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apply
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modern society, the best way to maintain a healthy lifestyle is a topic of debate. Some people hold the view that working out is important to improve
health
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while
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 others believe that
Correct article usage
a balance
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balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
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diet
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 is more vital. In my opinion, both
exercise
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 and a well-rounded eating habit are equally essential to stay healthy, since both have benefits for the human
body
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 in different ways. There are many reasons why some people believe that physical
exercise
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 is essential for one's well-being. Regular
exercise
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 helps to keep the
body
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 active, strengthens muscles, and improves cardiovascular
health
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.
For example
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, engaging in activities
such
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 as jogging or swimming not only enhances endurance but
also
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 reduces the risk of diseases like heart conditions or diabetes.
Moreover
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,
exercise
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 is a key to managing stress and improving mental well-being. By participating in regular workouts, individuals often feel more energy and less anxious, promotes positively to their
overall
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 quality of life.
Conversely
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, individuals believe that a balanced
diet
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 plays a more crucial role in maintaining
health
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. Eating the right proportions of carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins, and minerals provides the
body
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 with the nutrients it needs to function effectively.
For instance
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, a balanced
diet
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 prevents
lack
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a lack
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 of nutrients that can lead to severe
health
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 issues,
such
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 as weakened immunity.
Additionally
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, food is
the
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an
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 important source of energy for the
body
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, and without suitable nutrition, even
exercise
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 can not bring
the
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apply
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optimal results.
Furthermore
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, a balanced
diet
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 not only supports physical
health
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 but
also
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 positively impacts mental
health
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 and concentration.
To sum up
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, to maintain the optimal state of physique and mental well-being, people could
do
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exercise
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 regularly, and include
a
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apply
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good eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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 in their meals to provide essential nutrients that the
body
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 needs to function well. In my point of view, both working out and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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diet
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 help in improving our
health
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 in different manners, we must not ignore one over the other.

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task achievement
The introduction could be made clearer by explicitly stating your opinion in a more straightforward way. Consider mentioning both aspects (exercise and diet) right at the start.
coherence and cohesion
In the body paragraphs, ensure that your main points are well-developed and supported with relevant examples to reinforce your argument. This could enhance the clarity of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to improve the overall flow of your writing. This will help keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of ideas is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint, which aids readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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