IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that animal should be eaten or experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being. Discuss both views and your opinion.

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Proper animal treatment has been a serious debate over the years, criticizing the morality of the practices done to some species. A number of people suggest that
animals
Use synonyms
 should serve as a food source and test subjects for humankind,
while
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 conservationists argue that they should be given rights like human beings. Personally, I believe that using them for the benefit of people is justified,
however
Linking Words
, it is important to set limits on
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. On the one hand, proponents of animal consumption and experimentation claim that it has unparalleled benefits for the quality of life. The meat from these organisms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 essential nutrients that are unobtainable in a plant-based diet.
For instance
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,
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 proteins can increase human strength by supporting muscle growth when combined with physical exercise.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the use of
animals
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 scientific fields fostered innovation, especially in medicine. Many of the vaccines that are created are tested on rats, rabbits and monkeys to ensure their efficiency and prevent side effects.
This
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 enabled humans to survive
otherwise
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 deadly diseases that have been around for centuries.
On the other hand
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, despite its obvious benefits, protesters still contend that these actions are inhumane. The lives of
animals
Use synonyms
 are still valuable and most of
which
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 display some
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
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 of sentience. A good example of
this
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 are primates, rodents and some aquatic wildlife which are known to be quite intelligent,
proven
Correct word choice
as proven
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 by educated reports.
Consequently
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, they believe that the mass reproduction of
animals
Use synonyms
 only for the intention of butchering them is cruel.
In addition
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, they are
also
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 exposed to harsh and dirty living conditions that
further
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 exacerbate
this
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 problem. In conclusion,
although
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 consuming and experimenting on other forms of life are perceived as evil, its benefits for humans are significant. Regardless, actions done to them should be as painless as possible.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are elaborated upon; consider addressing counterarguments more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Vary sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement; consider using transition words to improve flow between ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and demonstrates a good understanding of both perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Logical progression of ideas and clear paragraphs contributing to overall clarity of argument.
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