IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that
was
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apply
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humans and
public
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the public
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 are negatively influenced by social media,
while
Linking Words
 social networking sites have some benefits, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective since it bothers from both basic and prioritized
tasks
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. There are
considerable
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a considerable
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 amount of advantages of social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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 ranging from preparation materials for studying to
availability
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the availability
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 of
unlimited
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an unlimited
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 amount of courses related to specific spheres
,
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apply
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 since it is relatively easy for both users and
content
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 producers to interact with each other.
For instance
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, YouTube may offer plenty of useful
content
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,
beside
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besides
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 entertaining videos there can be found online courses,
preparation
Correct word choice
and preparation
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 materials for tests
such
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 as IELTS, TOEFL and SAT.
Therefore
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, social networks may greatly benefit
to
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apply
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individuals if it used appropriately and make
studying
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the studying
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 process more efficient. Nowadays, most humans are addicted to social
content
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 which offers
cheap
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a cheap
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 and fast source of dopamine, because, it is widespread to add different sounds and
attracting
Wrong verb form
attract
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 visual effects, which makes
content
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 hubs more engaging and addicting.
For example
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, Facebook and Instagram are extremely distracting and these can lower productivity when doing demanding
tasks
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such
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 as homework or
workout
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workouts
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. All these factors make
public
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the public
show examples
 more distracted and unfocused without being able to work continuously and
concentrating
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concentrate
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 on even basic
tasks
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.
Thus
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, it is vital to take control
over
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of
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 social sites and try to avoid cheap
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of dopamine. In conclusion, social networking sites are equally beneficial and harmful at some point,
while
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be helpful in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain circumstances,
it
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they
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hams
Verb problem
harm
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privacy
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the privacy
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 of users and
gives
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give
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cheap
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a cheap
the cheap
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 source of dopamine making even basic
tasks
Use synonyms
 challenging to accomplish.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. A strong thesis statement would help the reader understand your position better.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas and make your essay flow better. This helps your reader follow your argument more easily.
task response
Try to give more examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and shows your understanding of the topic.
content knowledge
You provided good examples of social media benefits and drawbacks, which show you have some knowledge about the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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