IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say cheap air travel is good because it enables ordinary people to travel ,while others argue that it is bad for the environment. Discuss both views ,and include your opinion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 think travelling at a low cost in aeroplanes is great for the general public,
whereas
Linking Words
 many believe that it is harmful to the environment. Cheap
airline
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 cost gives the opportunity for middle-class
people
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 to
travel
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 in
aircraft
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 and is a great marketing strategy for the
airline
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 company itself.
However
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, it can increase the number of travels and can leave a negative impact on the habitat.
To begin
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 with, it is a dream for many low-income families to
travel
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 by aeroplane and cheap
airline
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tickets
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 can give them an opportunity to
travel
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 in their desired mode of transport. Generally, the high flight fares are a reason for
people
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 to avoid travelling by plane during the holiday season because they cannot afford it.
Moreover
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, if average-income families are able to afford
airline
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tickets
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, it can be a great promotional activity for the organisation to attract a large volume of customers.
For example
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, Air India announced a sixty percent discount on its flight
tickets
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 in 2024 which led to a massive rush of bookings in a few hours.
This
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also
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 leads to overbooking of flight
tickets
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.
Furthermore
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, the overbooking of
tickets
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 and
travel
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 by
aircraft
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 can have a fatal impact on the environment. If there are more
people
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 who can afford to
travel
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 by air, there will be an increased demand for aeroplanes.
Moreover
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, more resources
such
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 as fuel, food, high-voltage engines and batteries would be required to run an
aircraft
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. The amount of money that would be used to run one
aircraft
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 can be used to run multiple trains and buses in a country, eventually increasing the cost for the government and the
airline
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 companies. It will eventually result in releasing more harmful gases in the air continuing to disturb the ecosystem.
For instance
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, The Hindustan Times newspaper published a report in 2024 stating that
aircraft
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 are among the highest polluting modes of transportation. In conclusion, I believe that a limitation should be put on booking
airline
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tickets
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 because cheaper aeroplane
tickets
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 can be a good marketing strategy
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
airline
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 companies,
however
Linking Words
, there is constant environmental degradation on the verge for the same reason.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced discussion by elaborating on both views in equal measure. While you addressed the positive side of cheap air travel well, the negative impacts could include more examples or details.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to vary your sentence structures to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help maintain the reader's interest and increase coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Try to rephrase or provide synonyms for repeated phrases (e.g., 'environment', 'cheap airline tickets') to enhance lexical resource and avoid redundancy.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion on both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You included specific examples, such as the Air India promotion and the Hindustan Times report, which strengthen your argument and provide clarity to your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • air pollution
  • environmental degradation
  • technological advancements
  • high-speed rail
  • sustainable substitute
  • economic implications
  • aviation industry
  • tourism sector
  • global connectivity
  • carbon offsetting
  • fuel efficiency
  • regulations
  • eco-friendly alternatives
What to do next:
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