IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter • Explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the musuem • Describe some skill and qualities you have the would be useful • Give details of when you would be available for work

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Dear Sir/ Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
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 letter for the application of part-time voluntary work in the Quila Mubarak Museum, Patiala,
This
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 is near
by
Change preposition
apply
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my home. I
was
Wrong verb form
have been
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 looking
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such
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for such
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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unpaid community work
from
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since
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last
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 month, as I am a
stundent
Correct your spelling
student
of
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in
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social
Correct article usage
a social
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 worker Diploma Course, which would be
a
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apply
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very good for me to get
hands on
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hands-on
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 experience in that. I
also
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 did my
bachelors
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bachelor's
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 in history and art, so I have good experience in
this
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 field.
In addition
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 to
this
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, I have good communication and organizational skills, which helps me to communicate with
the
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apply
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tourists and visitors, and
organizations
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organisational
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 skills can lead me to organize
the
Correct article usage
apply
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events and
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
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. I
habe
Correct your spelling
have
keen
Correct article usage
a keen
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interset
Correct your spelling
interest
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to
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in
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learing
Correct your spelling
learning
learn
 history and art,
that
Correct word choice
and that
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 would be very useful for me to do
this
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 work by heart. As I am a student, I can do
this
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 job
everyday
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every day
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 after my college hours after 3.00pm, and my weekends are fully free, so I can do
this
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 Job as per mentioned
you
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your
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 schedule. Hoping for
prompt
Add an article
a prompt
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 reply on
this
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 application. Yours Sincerely, Jashan.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure in your letter. Separate each point more distinctly and maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for small grammar and vocabulary errors, such as 'stundent' instead of 'student' and 'interset' instead of 'interest'.
task achievement
You demonstrated a clear intention to volunteer and highlighted relevant qualifications and skills, which is great!

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • voluntary work
  • unpaid work
  • museum
  • community service
  • exhibits
  • art and culture
  • communication skills
  • organizational skills
  • commitment
  • availability
  • part-time
  • experience
  • passion
  • community involvement
  • engagement
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