Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A successful
Use synonyms
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
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is able to earn plenty of income compared to someone in another major field. Some individuals believe that it is completely okay,
whereas
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others think it is unjustified. I support the former notion, and
this
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essay will elaborate
both
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on both
show examples
views. On the one hand, in order to achieve success, a
sports
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player
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work
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works
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extremely hard to sharpen meticulous accuracy and exceptional skills with
unparallel
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unparalleled
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focus.
Moreover
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, in many cases, they have sacrificed their personal and social life to achieve their goal, which a lot of people are aware of.
Hence
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, it is believed that it’s fair to have a sportsman earning a huge amount of
money
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.
For example
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,
a
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apply
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legendary cricketer Sachin
Tendulker
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Tendulkar
confessed in an interview that he
practiced
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practised
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8 hours
everyday
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every day
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regularly before he became famous.
On the other hand
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, with
significantly
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a significantly
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growing population,
job
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the job
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market is getting more and more competitive.
As a result
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, most of the people have to
work
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very hard to make just enough
money
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to survive. Their unstoppable efforts to earn
money
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leads
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lead
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them to believe that it’s not rational
having
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to have
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sports
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players making
money
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in millions because these individuals are unaware of their hard
work
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and
struggles
Correct article usage
the struggles
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behind it. In my opinion,
sports
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players push past their limits
while
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practicing
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practising
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to gain unmatched skills and years of consistency.
Therefore
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, they deserve the high amount of income they generate. In conclusion, in order to earn more
money
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, one
have
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has
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to have uncommon skills or
ability
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abilities
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.
While
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I support the idea of having
sports
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professionals earning much higher income
due to
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their
extreme
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extremely
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hard
work
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, others oppose
and
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it and
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say that it’s not rational.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on providing clearer transitions between your ideas to enhance flow.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main point that is fully supported with examples.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on opposing views to strengthen your argument.
structure
You provide a clear opinion and structure your essay well with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
content
You have included a personal example in support of your opinion, which adds credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
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