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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The increasing frequency of satellite launches and space debris is becoming a threat to the Earth. What are tha main causes? What measures can be taken to address this?

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In the modern era, the issue of launching new satellites and the floating of
space
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 trash has become highly controversial. There are those who say that being a winner of competition in the
space
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 race is the most important. In
this
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 essay, I will examine the main reasons and provide my
overall
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 solutions to tackle
this
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 issue. Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why there are frequent satellite launches and many floating
space
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debris
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. Perhaps, the main reason why people are in favour of
this
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 phenomenon is that intense competition
of occupying
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to occupy
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cosmos
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the cosmos
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 has fiercely continued for the past 5 decades. In
the
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apply
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light of Russia and the United States of America, these countries’ priorities are focused on rapidly and broadly expanding their presence in
space
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, which leads to a lower success rate and remaining
space
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 trash
as a result
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 of the failure.
Moreover
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, another reason is that
space
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debris
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 is not easily captured in people’s daily lives.
That is
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, people believe and expand their thinking by seeing physically and vividly
,
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while
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 floating
debris
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 can be seen by telescopes or pictures of NASA, which leads people not to take the problem seriously. Despite, these reasons it must be said there are several measures to address
this
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. First and foremost, governments and private companies should pay tax fees for using
space
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. Specifically, efforts should be made to collect and return
space
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debris
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 to Earth, which requires sustainable funding, using tax fees to remove remains. A second solution is to create new regulations for launching new satellites in world organizations, like the United Nations. To lessen global competition, moral and ethical rules should be considered to ensure
space
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 safety, including huge and sustainable responsibility to individuals and governments. In conclusion,
It is clear that
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this
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 is a topic which is very relevant to society. Taking the above into account, there are several causes that the world can prevent and many many measures to protect our community, including inner and outer
space
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. If we protect
space
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 as soon as we can, the risk of remaining
debris
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 will be eliminated.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that summarizes the main points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer transition phrases between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas and improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid redundancy, such as repeating 'many' in the conclusion, to maintain a more formal tone.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant and timely issue, demonstrating awareness of the significance of space debris.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay follows a logical pattern, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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