IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every years several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if they are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Language
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 is an essential part of cultural identity, yet many
languages
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 disappear every year. Some argue
this
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 loss is insignificant and that having fewer
languages
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 would simplify communication and daily life.
However
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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 view, as the extinction of
language
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 leads to the erosion of cultural heritage and the loss of valuable
knowledge
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 embedded in linguistic
diversity
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.
Languages
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 are deeply connected to the traditions, history, and identity of a community. When a
language
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 disappears, a unique way of expressing ideas, values, and beliefs
also
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 vanishes. Many Indigenous
languages
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,
for example
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, contain words and phrases that reflect the customs and worldviews of their speakers. If these
languages
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 die out, future generations lose access to their ancestors's wisdom and traditions, leading to cultural homogenization. Every
language
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 holds unique
knowledge
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, particularly in areas
such
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 as medicine, ecology, and history. Indigenous
language
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 often contains information about the local plants, healing methods, and environmental sustainability
that is
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 not documented
elsewhere
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.
For example
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, in the Amazon rainforest, tribes have preserved
knowledge
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 of medicinal plants that modern science only beginning to explore. If these
languages
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 disappear, valuable insights that could benefit humanity may be lost forever.
Although
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 some believe that having fewer
languages
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 would make communication easier, the reality is that multilingualism has many benefits. Learning multiple
languages
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enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
 cognitive abilities, improves problem-solving skills, and fosters global understanding.
Furthermore
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, translation technology is advancing rapidly, making it unnecessary to sacrifice linguistic
diversity
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 for convenience.
Instead
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 of eliminating
languages
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, societies should invest in
language
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 preservation and education to promote a more inclusive world. In conclusion,
While
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 the decline of
language
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 may seem unimportant to some, it has significant cultural, intellectual, and practical consequences. The loss of
language
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 leads to the disappearance of cultural
diversity
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 and valuable
knowledge
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. Rather than viewing linguistic
diversity
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 as a barrier, we should embrace and protect it for the benefit of future generations.

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of your argument are fully developed with examples or elaboration. While your ideas are clear, there is a little room for more depth or elaboration on certain points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures and connecting ideas with cohesive devices to achieve even greater fluency in your writing. This would help enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your argument clearly presents a strong opinion against the idea that fewer languages are beneficial, supporting it with relevant examples and reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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