IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A certain amount of
people
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 believe, there are benefits in having
a
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apply
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competition
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 in
work places
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workplaces
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,
educational
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the educational
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 environment and in everyday life,
while
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 others argue that supporting a healthy environment is
cruical
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crucial
critical
 in those cases In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and share my own opinion. On the one hand,
accroding
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according
 to the
researches
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research
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 provided by German
pshychologists
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psychologists
psychologist
, having a person to compete with in
a
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apply
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mundane activities increases one’s
motivation
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 to try harder and do better. Having an individual with whom you will be compared gives a boost of
motivation
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 to do a better job.
Weather
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Whether
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 it
a
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is a
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raise or a better grade, anyone would want a nicer thing for themself.
For instance
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, there are certain
people
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 for whom having
a
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apply
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competition
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 is a
cruical
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crucial
critical
 part of their
motivitation
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motivation
 to
doing
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do
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 their best.
On the other hand
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,
a
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apply
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constant pressure from comparing
yuorself
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yourself
 to another person may be intimidating and have a downhill effect on one’s mental health.
According to
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 the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 research, about 40% of
people
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, who participated in the survey believe, that they’re the most productive
while
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 working
in
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at
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 their own pace. Providing a friendly environment for one another can
deeplt
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deeply
 affect one’s
motivation
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 and will to stay with the job, or come to school
everyday
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every day
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.
A
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The
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 constant pressure that comes with
a
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apply
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competition
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 can have a downhill effect on most
people
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’s mental health. Personally, I believe that
competition
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 is a good mind tool, forcing
people
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 to take the job more seriously.
People
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 say, we do not appreciate what we have until it is taken away, and that fear of losing something one deeply cares for drives us to be more productive and
cosistent
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consistent
consistency
.
To sum
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up
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up,
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 all that said above, having a
competition
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 does have
a
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apply
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certian
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certain
 benefits on our
motivation
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 and productivity, but at the same time we should not forget
a
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apply
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basic humanity.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly states your position in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Pay close attention to spelling and grammar to improve clarity and professionalism.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point that relates back to your thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points about competition and cooperation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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