IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In recent years, many countries have become extremely concerned about the increase in crimes committed by young people. Tough measures and strict punishments are necessary to stop youths from re-offending. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Nowadays, crimes committed by
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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 worry many countries
therefore
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments have suggested strict measures to stop it. It is one of the working
method
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methods
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, which helps to decide
this
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 problem even
it
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if it
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 requires cost. But there are many different soft ways,
such
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 as creating different clubs for youth, which will be effective and more useful. On the one hand, changing the normative acts,
according to
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cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
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 the number of re-offending, is one of the proven
method
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methods
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, which comes from ancient times and
popular
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is popular
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 in some countries.
For example
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, countries
such
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 as China
,
Correct word choice
and, United
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United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Arab Emirates have low
level
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levels
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 of crime, because of the strict measures
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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implemented by them. Their normative acts have included strict measures, which restrain them from different types of crime.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,

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grammar
Consider rephrasing "youths" to "young people" for better clarity. Also, addressing grammar issues such as "youngs worry" to "youth crime worries" would enhance fluency.
structure
In the introduction, clearly state your stance on the issue to guide the reader more effectively. This will strengthen your overall argument.
ideas
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points regarding soft measures for youth engagement.
content
You successfully identified both tough measures and softer alternatives, showing a balanced perspective on the issue.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, which helps in logical progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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